So this may be a little loaded of a first post but I'm not ready to bring my feelings to real life by talking about friends yet.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now, although we've had a pretty rocky start. We have gained stability but then I did the unthinkable and slept with someone else, a little before we found out that I was pregnant. I am currently 3 1/2 weeks from my due date.
He still wanted to be with me, said he wants me and wants this baby. And for the first couple of months it seemed that way. Like we were moving forward.
He stated that he wanted to be as involve as possible in keeping up with the pregnancy and wanted to make it to all of my appointments with me to support me. He wasn't able to make the first few due to work but then he just didn't go when he did have time a few months later. He still has yet to meet my doctor.
Five months ago our sex life started to dwindle. It went from 3-5 times a week to 1-2 weeks. As of today it has been twelve days since we've had sex, with little indication of anything happening soon.
He doesn't even look in my direction anymore. Every time I try to connect and talk with him he's always looking at his computer, his phone, anywhere but at me. He never compliments me on how I look or even acknowledge how I look unless it's to tell me not to wear makeup (he's never liked the way I look with makeup on) yet every time we drive by some girl he has to make a comment about her butt cheeks or some other area of her anatomy. Being 8+ months pregnant not getting sex, but hearing how beautiful other girls are is extremely hurtful to me.
And now I'm at a point where I'm close to delivering and I still have a lot to do, some of which I would like and need his help with (things like writing a birthing plan getting stuff packed, and having a plan ready in case he's at work or I'm at work when it's go time. He doesn't seem to want to take time to do this.
For the last few weeks he has gone to a bar every night after work for a couple of drinks and to hang out. He doesn't show any interest in spending time with me, kisses me once or twice a day, doesn't cuddle me in bed (we're normally very touch oriented when we sleep) and seldom talks to me. I have never felt so alone. I feel less like we're having a baby and more like I'm having a baby with him here to watch in the meantime. I don't even know if we're in a relationship anymore in spite of him wanting to kiss me goodbye and him saying I love you when I leave the house. I've even moved a mattress into the baby's room to sleep elsewhere so I don't feel like I'm sharing a bed with a stranger. I want to leave but with me about ready to take 2+ months off work I can't really afford to get a new place. What should I do? I've tried talking to him but he won't take his eyes off of his computer. Help!
Asked by Anonymous at 2:54 AM on Nov. 12, 2013 in Relationships
Answer by dana123321 at 5:29 AM on Nov. 12, 2013
Answer by NannyB. at 7:11 AM on Nov. 12, 2013
Answer by wendythewriter at 7:28 AM on Nov. 12, 2013
Answer by louise2 at 8:25 AM on Nov. 12, 2013
Answer by Bmat at 8:25 AM on Nov. 12, 2013
Answer by fiatpax at 8:49 AM on Nov. 12, 2013
Answer by ohwrite at 9:14 AM on Nov. 12, 2013
My first piece of advise is that if you do not know FOR SURE that the child is his, do not let him sign the BC. Have a DNA test done first to determine paternity.
That all said, very rarely will a relationship keep the spark it had in the beginning. It takes about a year and a half to two years to lose the spark and to stop getting butterflies all the time. You end up settling into your relationship and having it grow. I think people in general love the feeling of being in love (that spark and the butterflies), but it's unrealistic to expect that all the time. Relationships evolve. Now, that's not to say that it's okay for him to say other women look good or to stay out all night. You need to communicate with him that those are not acceptable and how it hurts you and the relationship. Communication is key.
Answer by QuinnMae at 9:51 AM on Nov. 12, 2013
Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:35 AM on Nov. 12, 2013
Answer by Dardenella at 12:45 PM on Nov. 12, 2013
Next question overall
I got pregnant the night of October 7th 2013, when is my due date?