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How to treat someone when they are loyal?

SS19 he is a sweetheart I am very lucky to have him ;)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Nov. 12, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (7)
  • $

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:09 AM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • I'm not sure what you are asking. I mean, besides the obvious reciprocation.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:36 AM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • Well ever since he was little he has always been there he was always playing with his mom and his dad did not want to cheat out either one of them I can remember once my sd21 turned 12-13 she started to not come over as much (I think she was just doing things her dad would not allow her to...anyway) oh like @ 13 the mother let her get belly piercing for her b/day.
    Back to my ss19 we look back at pictures and he is in everyone of I love it he has always been a good son/ss to us, so now that he is an adult we try to help him out in what we can and he appreciates that. Our family on my dh's side notices this they talk about how he is always there with and for us.

    Ladies I just wanting to vent in a very good way ;)

    Unlike my dd21 seems like she only calls when she wants money :( Or calls and talks to her dad then a week later boom that's when she ask for money.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:03 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • He was always playing FAIR

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:03 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • I am not sure what you mean. I would return his loyalty with loyalty. Maybe if you explain what you mean.........

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:09 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • Well, that certainly is mature for a 19 year old. Although, I will say, I don't think the behavior of your SD is that odd, considering she is probably a young adult as well. Most of them think mostly of themselves.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:15 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • Are you asking if favoring him makes sense or is justifiable? You feel good about helping him out financially & resentful about helping out his 21 year old sister who hasn't felt as close? Are you wondering if an obvious discrepancy between your "policies" about money with the two is something you can justify because of their relationships with you?

    Well, it's something you can rationalize. It's a common inclination (to reward one & punish another, or give to one you're happy with & withhold from another if you feel disapproving or unhappy.)
    Your feelings are your feelings & you can make any decision you wish to in response to them!
    My thought would be to own your decisions, rather than to put it on your SD. Just own that because she isn't as close, and seems only to reach out when she is hoping to get something from her dad, you don't want to give to her. And that you want to give to your SS because you think he deserves it.

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:22 AM on Nov. 13, 2013

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