Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I have failed at potty training my son...sigh...all suggestions welcome!

We have been potty training our now 3yr 2month old son since Mother's Day, at first it went great and then as fast as I could turn my head it went south and now we're still in pull-ups! We've tried EVERYTHING! Reward system, staying home for days and going every 30 min, no pull-ups and using big boy undies (which he doesn't care if he poos or pees in), stickers, m&m's, quarters in the piggy bank...etc. etc. So then we said, ok he's not ready and backed off and just kept the pull-ups and kept going to the potty every 45 min. He goes in the potty (pee only) but he also still goes in his pull-ups ! This morning he woke up with a dry diaper..GOOD BOY...then tells me I have to go peepee....GOOD BOY...then when done going pee in the potty wants to put on big boy undies....then 20 min later pees in his undies, sigh! Help, what am I doing wrong? Please, any suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Nov. 12, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Wait...when he is ready he'll do it. Just think that by College he should be potty trained! :) GL! It is a tough job for sure!

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:06 AM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • That's what I've been saying. I have a very pushy mother who is constantly nagging on me saying "he's three and should be potty trained by now, I never had this problem with my children, your not consistent"! And even though I try not to pay much attention to her, it's still does not help to hear all of that mess.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:11 AM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • Ahh Ignore her! My MIL said her kids were potty trained at 18 months....whatever! Problem is that they can't remember that far back! Just say "Hey, am I asking you for money for diapers?? NO! Then don't worry about it!" When I just about gave up on my Son, I had just had his baby sister & stopped focusing all my attention on him to get him to use the potty to poo. Finally one day while I was changing the baby he said "MOM! I pooped in the pot!" I was like "don't fool around!!" I looked & almost fell on the floor, he did it! I also told my Son that he could go to Walgreen & pick a toy if he did & not until he did. So that night we went to Walgreens :) He was almost 4. He peed in the potty with no issues but the pooping was the problem. I also told him he couldn't go to big boy school (preschool) until he pooped on the pot too. GL!

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:19 AM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • I had two late trainers. Unfortunately, you can try everything out there and it won't make a difference until he is ready.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:27 AM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • Tell your mom that he will be trained by the time he is 20, laugh, and move on. Say that over and over to her. Or you might tell her how much she is bothering you and please back off.
    Remember that being dry during the night is different from daytime potty training. Children can be wet at night for years. Sometimes they are 8, 10, 12 before they can be dry at night. Use the overnight pants until he is dry consistently for at least two weeks.
    Relax. Go back to taking him to the potty every 45 minutes or so.........and especially when you see he might start to have a bowel movement. He will get it eventually. And he may be very confused now with all the rewards, comments, etc. Stay positive and encouraging. GL

    Answer by silverthreads at 11:27 AM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • 1) Find something he REALLY wants to do. For my son, it was a ferry boat ride and ice cream on the other side.
    2) Set up a calendar (print a page off) with BIG boxes
    3) Get stickers he likes
    4) Set a time limit, if he can go X# of days accident free he gets his reward. We did 10 days for my son
    5) For every DAY (ignore nights right now, that comes later) that he stays clean and dry he gets a sticker
    6) Give him his treat when he achieves his goal.

    My son went 3 days, had an accident, 7 days, had an accident, 10+ days and got his ice cream. He was almost 4 by the time he was day time potty trained.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:42 AM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • I have 3 sons, the oldest was 2 1/2 when he was trained, the other 2 were well over three...the youngest was almost 4! Guess what, they are all grown up, and doing well.

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:45 AM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • Elmo's Potty Time. Tried everything with DS (and he was backwards, he'd poop, but would not pee to save his life). Someone lent me their Elmo's DVD and he was trained in a weekend.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 12:25 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • And you have not failed!! Kids do it on their time line, not ours.

    Answer by silverthreads at 1:22 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • Unless he is in a preschool that requires him to be potty trained I wouldn't push it. We pushed it with our daughter and 8 months later (a long 8 months) she was finally to the point where she had few accidents. She wasn't able to go without a pull up until a few months before 3, and I only pushed it because at her daycare she couldn't go to the preschool until she was able to go without pull ups. It took me not putting pull ups on her (other than naps and bedtime) for over a week and cleaning many pee spots. Now she can even go naps with no pull up. Patience and accepting that you will be cleaning a lot of accidents. I have heard boys usually don't potty train until later.

    Answer by AF4life at 7:56 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.