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my boyfriends ex- wife texts him constantly about 16 year old son- how much is too much?

They have been divorced about 8 years. they were together since they were 16. she has been single ever since the split. they have a good relationship, which I am thankful for, but(!) she texts him on a daily basis about trivial things about her son that are not important. she starts at like 7:30 in the morning. I have told him he needs to set boundries with her timing, like anything before 10am is unacceptable, unless its a situation that needs to be handled right away, of course. He has said ok and that he understands my position, but it hasn't helped. this morning she asked him at 8:30 this morning if he still had their divorce papers.. I got irritated and reminded him about her lack of boundries. He told me he was getting sick of this(my attitude towards her) and that I should be able to handle it. I know I need to respect their co-parenting, but its hard!! I haven't ever dealt with this before.

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birdie313

Asked by birdie313 at 3:02 PM on Nov. 12, 2013 in Relationships

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Leave it alone before he leaves you alone.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 3:05 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • I say better for the kid if they get along, who cares, now if you started out with-
    I can't get my husband to stop sleeping with his ex wife, that might be a problem, he is your husband now, and stop being insecure virginia nailed it.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 3:11 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • Pick a different battle.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 3:15 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • you are all right. I know :( its just hard. and it doesn't help that the lady gives me stink eye every time we meet. I can tell she doesn't like me. which I know she doesn't have too, but makes me think she still has all these unresolved feelings for him.

    Oh well, thanks for the honesty ladies. I needed to hear it.xo.
    birdie313

    Comment by birdie313 (original poster) at 3:27 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • What matters is if HE has unresolved feelings for her. If you trust him to be faithful to you, then you need to allow this contact without complaint. He will appreciate it as will his child(ren) If this is more than you are capable of handling, then you may want to end it now before it goes further. B/C even when the children are grown, they will still be in contact with one another & possibly attend functions as the kids get older & have families of their own. GL
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:52 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • How long have you two been together? Truthfully you should not worry about it, as long as he isn't running over their all the time for no reason.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:29 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • This is something over which you have no control nor will you ever have. I think you either decide to accept things just as they are and expect them to never change, or you break this off and move on.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:46 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • Unless it involves hospital, jail, or grades, she really shouldn't be contacting him.
    He doesn't need to know that his 16 year old son took a shit.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 4:47 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • but makes me think she still has all these unresolved feelings for him.

    Or she knows that you're getting your panties in a bunch over this, and thinks you're being ridiculous. Look, I agree that maybe she's contacting him too much, but if he's not bothered, and this is how it's always been, then the best thing you can do is suck it up and deal with it. He's already told you he's getting sick of your attitude, which means if you keep pushing, it's going to come to a "her or me" and he's liable to pick her instead of you. Is that what you want?
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:35 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

  • It seems unjust that I have to learn to deal with her or leave him. I love him deeply. but I don't want a third person in our relationship every morning when we sit down to breakfast. He pays for everything for their son, we have him 85% of the time-even though they have 50-50 custody, he gives her free work supplies(wood, metal,etc) from his business- which she feels free to go by anytime she wants, and she is flirty in her texts(maybe I snooped..) he is not. She probably knows she is getting to me. I know im digging myself in this ditch and I need to chill out. 3 more years of her is going to be hard to deal with. Maybe things will change once we get married next year. or maybe I will get lucky and she will find a new man to replace him in hers. I mean does she really need to ask him for help finding a place to get new brakes? try asking your brother lady. or google!
    birdie313

    Comment by birdie313 (original poster) at 7:09 PM on Nov. 12, 2013

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