I have been with their father since 2001, but got married in 2010. My husband brought them up single handedly when their mother left him for another man. We were not living together but I used to visit, and everything was fine. What I noticed very early in our relationship is that my husband used to give them everything they wanted. He does not make a lot of money though. Now that they are older, their 'toys' are more expensive. The reason why the boy wrote that is because I refused to buy him an expensive phone worth thousands of rands. I suggested a cheaper one. my husband cannot afford to buy these expensive items. The boys are still in high school, Grade 11. I am very hurt by the message. I always knew the boy doesn't love or like me. which is fine, but I think 'hate' is a very strong word. I have done things for him, and I am giving me allowance for airtime. I do buy him clothes if I see something nice when I am travelling. I have also given him money when he asked. But I am strict, and don't just give money if I it is not for a good reason. I do drive them to the movies and leave them there and give them money and then fetch them. So, I thought I was doing a pretty good job. How dumb is that? I actually feel stupid!Answer Question
Answer by Crafty26 at 5:57 AM on Nov. 13, 2013
Answer by May-20 at 6:53 AM on Nov. 13, 2013
Answer by tempsingl3mom at 7:21 AM on Nov. 13, 2013
Where do you live where a 18 and 20 year old males are not grown adults and can get jobs to support the wants. My opinion is. Completely stop giving them things, tell them to go get a job. Here in the USA 18 year old should be at least in the 12th grade if not graduated. The 20 year old should be either in college or out on his own working for a living
Answer by louise2 at 7:38 AM on Nov. 13, 2013
Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 8:19 AM on Nov. 13, 2013
Answer by SWasson at 8:32 AM on Nov. 13, 2013
Answer by NotPanicking at 8:49 AM on Nov. 13, 2013
I disagree with luuvmygrandgirl you've been in his life since he was 6 years old and are the acting mother. You do have a right at this point to make some rules and decisions. My husband and I met just before my oldest son turned 5, and he has never called my son his 'step' child, and my son just thinks of him as his dad.
It sounds to me like he's spoiled and acting like a typical teenager who is spoiled. He's old enough to have a job and pay for his own things at this point. Is he going to school? Does he have household responsibilities? At this age, if he hates you I think I would quit paying for things and being chauffeur. Continue being the same loving stepmother...and maybe mother, that you've always been, but tell him you're going to start treating him more like an adult.....who can stand on his own two feet.
Big hugs and good luck mama.
Answer by ohwrite at 9:00 AM on Nov. 13, 2013
Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 10:01 AM on Nov. 13, 2013
Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:43 PM on Nov. 13, 2013