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Lamest excuse ever!

So my ex was supposed to be paying support to my son to help with college expenses. I am paying him  support too, but I'm actually really paying. Ex paid 3 months then stopped. I notice this when I looked at my son's bank statement one day this summer. I called the lawyer, and today I get an email from the lawyer with a copy of the response my ex finally gave after months of trying to get him to settle this out of court. The lawyer finally sent him a court date, and magically the ex decides to respond. His excuse? He stopped paying because he has no proof that my son is actually going to college. REALLY! WOW! Did he ever ask for proof? NO. Does he think his son is a liar? What does he think his son is doing in 2000 miles away from home? PICKING HIS NOSE? All he needs to do is go to the school's web site. My son is listed as a member of 2 of the bands there. The school shows web casts of the performances, he could SEE his son on the computer screen. He could, I don't know, Skype with his son and have his son take him on a tour of the school. OH MY FREAKING GOD!!!!! I hate him SOOO much!

So the question is, how would you deal with this? Would you email the ex and say I call bull crap, you have plenty of ways you can "verify" your son is in college. Or do I just let the lawyer handle it, and ignore his ass?



Asked by musicmaker at 11:29 PM on Nov. 13, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 28 (34,183 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Get the lawyer to deal with it. Always. Do not engage with your ex, there's no point in giving him a free opportunity to piss you off even more (because he will grab it).

    Answer by goldpandora at 6:59 AM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • Give all info to lawyer and let him/her handle it.

    Answer by silverthreads at 6:38 AM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • I don't blame you a bit. I'm so sorry...

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:11 AM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • If the EX want the son to give him Paper proof to get his support. Send him some papers proving he is in school. I do understand the EX. I would probably be the same. But I would have at least told the 18 yo to send me proof or you will not get any money. Would want it every 3 to 6 months.


    Answer by louise2 at 7:48 AM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • To your husband:

    To you: I'd let the lawyer deal with it.


    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:18 AM on Nov. 14, 2013

  •  I send support to my son every month. I have never asked him to prove he is in college because I skype with him every Sunday and ask him how his classes are going. He shows me his dorm room. I watch him on my computer when he has a performance, and I look at the school web site that shows a picture of him playing in one of the school bands he is in. I ask him what classes he is taking, and what grades he is getting. Most importantly, I TRUST MY SON IS NOT LYING TO ME. My son sent me his transcripts today so that I can send them to his father. Turns out, amazingly enough, he is NOT lying. He has a 3.79 GPA. My ex is just giving BS excuses. He knows perfectly well his son is in college. He is truly one of the worst fathers on the planet, and I find it pathetic, and sad at the same time. My kids deserve a father that actually gives a crap about them.


    Comment by musicmaker (original poster) at 11:37 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • I asked the lawyer if there was a way the money could just be automatically taken out of the ex's bank. The lawyer said only if he agrees to it.Yeah right. So I guarantee the ex will pay for oh two or three months, and then stop again. Give some other lame excuse, and the cycle will start all over again. He did this to me over and over and over when we divorced and divided the debt. He would stop paying the credit card bills he was supposed to pay, and I would get calls from the card companies. I would get on his butt to pay, and he would for a month or two and stop, and then the calls would come. Wash, rinse, repeat. This went on for 10 years. The only reason it stopped was because I called his dad and begged him to pay off the bills so I could attempt to rebuild my trashed credit.


    Comment by musicmaker (original poster) at 11:50 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • What a dick! Have the lawyer deal with it.

    Answer by theMOMmission at 4:07 PM on Jan. 29, 2014