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Fourth time and terrified!!!

Should I be afraid? I have adopted three times internationally and my husband gave me the ok to begin the process for foster-adopt. I AM SCARED STIFF! I didn't expect to react this way at all. I'm almost too afraid to even make the needed calls to get the ball rolling. How hard is the road to foster adoption? What are the worst and best parts?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Feb. 19, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (8)
  • im sorry i cant answer your questions or give advice because i have never done it before. i just wanted to say GOOD LUCK! :D

    Answer by SThompson21 at 7:12 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • You have to take classes, get a home study if yours is not up to date, and of course background checks. Its not that hard.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 8:42 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • It had its ups and downs, but it wasn't that hard. I say that its just like pregnancy, you forget the "pains" quickly and that makes you willing to do it again.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 9:34 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • We did the foster to adopt route and had a very good outcome. If you have any specific questions you can always message me.

    Good luck!

    Answer by mommytoadam at 10:07 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Be wary of social workers with their own agendas. Ours hated my hubby because he was outspoken, and hated me for home-schooling our bio daughter. Fought for 3 yrs before giving up and heading to China.

    Answer by mommy22miracles at 3:02 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Scared Stiff is a good way to go into it. You will be subjected to higher standards than required to adopt your 3 children, mass paperwork, visitations, and many other things that you aren't prepared for until you get into it. Your heart & mind will drive you crazy about "what if's" and other things that are out of your control. The state will train you for family reunification and your heart will be torn between them being with their birth families, or if their lives would be better with you. Most cases, the children are going to go to some relative (g-parent, aunt, etc), even if not the birth parents. You will be on a roller coaster that never ends, where you can never "just breathe", BUT if you believe in your heart that you can make a difference in the life of a child not your own, whether they are with you temporarily or not, then foster to adopt could be for you. I don't want to scare you, do your research, then decide.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:25 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • (con't) PS-We didn't have children of our own, so I didn't have to worry about protecting anyone from children who are scared/hurt/angry and lashing out. All cases are different. So far, it's been a "good" experience for us, meaning that we could be close to an adoption soon, but we've had 3 placements in a short period. Your heart (and your DH and children's) will be broken many times, but is it worth it in the end? Only you can answer that. I think foster/adopt is a journey that leads you and the children who will be place with you together, for how long, only God knows. For us, it was exactly the right thing, but there were many times that we were uncertain. Go with your gut, and make it a family decision. PS, you don't give the ages of your kids, what are they? You also could choose to be an adoptive family only, and perhaps increase your chances of adopting sooner. Good luck and I hope it turns at well. PM me if you want

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:45 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • You can do it! The wait is hard, but the end is so worth it! You can adopt a child that is already TPR'd and waiting for a home. Sibling groups are awesome! Just find someone in your area to do it and go for it!

    Answer by mommy9 at 5:43 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

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