Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

SO 10 yr old son acting out

My SO son has been acting out badly/ Not turning in homework, fighting, and today got suspended for throwing paper at his teacher. My SO is furious and at his wits end(he has custody of his 2 children).

I really don't know what to say and do to be supportive, so I'm asking advice. I don't want to over step my boundaries by telling him what I think he should do because I don't feel like that's my place, but at the same time I don't want to appear as if I don't care because I do 100%
I never had this issue with my kids acting out in this manner so I honestly don't know what to tell him when he vents his frustration about his son. I believe his son is acting out because lack of attention from his mom and SO feels the same way....

Answer Question

Asked by kyheavensmom at 12:51 PM on Nov. 14, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 18 (5,660 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Maybe just try to spend some extra time with the kid. Also, and more importantly, set up things for your SO and his son to do together, one on one. If he's feels more loved and accepted by the two of you, eventually the issues he has with his mom (if thats the real issue) will start to dwindle away.

    Also, you need to be straight with your SO. Tell him how much you care about him and his children and want whats best for everyone. When he gets angry, do he want your opinion? Or does he just need someone to which he can blow off some steam? Then, if you start giving him your opinion, at least he asked for it first. If he says he just need you to be there for him to lean on, you'll have to do just that. Let him stew and vent with you, but make him work it out for himself.

    Answer by toughluck08 at 12:59 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • Ok, That make sense. Thank You!

    Comment by kyheavensmom (original poster) at 1:01 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • I 100% agree with toughluck08. Also just in case you did not know, The School has a Psychologist there. I'd tell your SO to make a call to the Psychologist, explain his concerns & see what they can recommend &/or help the boy.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:05 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • What about YOU doing some things with him? Sit down, just the two of you, and tell him you're NOT trying to take the place of his bio mom, but you're seeing that he's having a tough time right now, and would LOVE to be a second mom (or whatever phrase you choose) in his life.

    Take him to a movie and out to lunch. Let him know that you will be there to listen if he wants to talk to you about his mom. I took my son, also 10, to go see Ender's Game last Saturday. He loved it. Not sure what he liked more, the 1-on-1 time with me or the movie.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:08 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • That's not a bad idea!! I like that, Thank You! :)

    Comment by kyheavensmom (original poster) at 1:38 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.