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Does it bug you when you dont hear from your SO ALL DAY?

me and the hubs rarely ever see each other. 11 years we have been married, and its been pretty good. he works 2 jobs, I work part time and raise the kids. its hard, and we lack a lot of our own time together, chances to communicate, go over bills, tell each other we still love each other......

we used to be a bit sweeter, more romantic and caring for each other, but over time I feel like I am the only one who tries to pass on messages occasionally just telling him he is amazing, or making his favorite foods just because. I may go buy him a shirt because I know he would like it, make plans for a night we might have off together and make sure its his favorite activity or idea... even just make sure his pillows smell extra yummy when he lays his head down at night....

So in therapy (yes we have ended up there for a bit), I have mentioned I feel like I am the only one making an effort to show love, etc. He doesn't understand how his working and supporting the family isn't showing that. Now I GET that guys mentality works differently than ours, and maybe because I am not offering a blow job every night but instead cleaning his underwear, he may not see how much I love him... But we have discussed ways we can show each other, and he still isn't making the effort. All I want is maybe an occasional text from him , not even every day, just to let me know he is actually thinking about me. Granted he is busy, but does the guy break for lunch, a drink of water, a pee break? His answer... he forgets. forgets. forgets about... me? that he actually has a family and a life outside of his jobs? Like is he so distracted by work and the people around him that he cant for 1 second remember he is married and send a sweet note to that woman who raises his kids and makes his favorite foods etc......? really? Forgets?

I know his jobs,, he aint THAT busy. and I really don't think I am asking THAT much.

am I?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Nov. 14, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (23)
  • How about you get a full time job so he only has to work one job. He will be less busy and have more time to do the things that you want to do. And it sounds to me that you have too much time on your hands, so its a win-win for everyone.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 5:39 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • Yes I am sorry you are. If you want more time with him you have to make that happen. Than means instead of him working two jobs you get a full time one. That what he physically has the time to spend with you. You say he is not that busy. I have no way of knowing. But simply being at a job is mentally and physically taxing and then you travel and start in all over again.

    He is showing his love for his family by providing for the best he can.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:45 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • i'm torn in your situation between the fact that guys just don't typically think to do that stuff for their ladies,and the fact that he knows you asked him for those little love favors,and he's "forgetting" to do them
    Yeah,guys do think they're showing love by working to pay the bills
    They think that once they caught you,they no longer need to woo you
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:46 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • uuuh guys, do you know how much it costs for daycare? I used to work a full time job AND go to school, but our life situation put us in this position and he CHOSE to work 2 jobs, I work when he is home, plus I do run a business from home and am getting ready to go back to school. so please, don't talk to me like I am lazy or not trying.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:54 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • also, he wanted the expensive car and house, not me. I would be happy in a broken down apartment and riding a bus if it meant we spent more time together.....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:56 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • NOPE! That just means he doesn't have anything he needs me to do !!!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 6:02 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • Pft... I go days without even seeing dh, let alone talking to or hearing from him. Our shifts are so different, and always have been, that I guess I'm just used to it.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 6:06 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • Busy or not it's not appropriate to expect him to contact you from work everyday. They call it "work" for a reason!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 6:22 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • Not really. He's working a double, split shift right now, and will be until January. The kids miss Daddy, but we're all coping. He's up and gone before we get up in the morning, and home after the kids go to bed. It's not the easiest, but then you have weeks like this one where Today and tomorrow he's working overtime, so is getting paid time and a half.

    I wouldn't want to be doing this ALL time time, but for two months we can all cope and deal.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:38 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • Well, I do not have one
    So, I do it all and that is that


    I say, count your blessings
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Nov. 14, 2013

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