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How do moms of 5-6 years old handle rude, disrespectful children... ones that back talk to other adults, or teachers.. i want advise to nip it in the bud! and to be able to share with teachers this child may have now or one day in the future

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Asked by parentsteacher at 7:05 PM on Feb. 19, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (9)
  • Pick up a copy of 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Phelan on Amazon.
    I'm almost finished and he talks about that problem.

    Answer by timelessglass at 7:07 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • My 7 year old step-son used to be aweful to everyone... that is until I came into his life. I forced him to make eye contact with adults ("excuse me, you will look at me when I am speaking to you") and encouraged other people to scorn him when he was disrespectful ("You will NOT speak to me like that, is that clear?") He now listens and hardly has to be told what to do twice, and he says "yes I understand" when he has done something wrong. He no longer kicks and screams when he doesn't get his way. People actually thought he was autistic because of how bad and uncontrollable his behavior was at one point!!

    Answer by not-so-des-hw at 8:35 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • You give him one warning, let him know that it's not acceptable and if he does it again wash his mouth out with soap.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:36 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • The second post is very good advice. Eye contact and harsh punishment for offending the rules. I am not a fan of disrespectful children and there is no tolerance of it. I think when an adult commands respect from a child with firmness, but love, they really make an impression. In our home, disrespect is dealt with in a harsh way.

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:11 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • First of all, does the child have a role model of respect. If a child is disrespectful, you need to immediately correct them and teach them the correct response. If you are talking and the child continues to interrupt then as a parent you should say to your friend or whoever you are talking to"excuse me a minute" and then explain to the child how it is done. Ask the child if he/she understands. If you get a positive response, the next time it happens remind them again and set limits ;like if you interrupt rudely again your punishment will be and follow through. Children see much in today's world that they imitate. As adults we need to educate them in good manners..


    Answer by seasidegrandma at 10:37 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • sammiesmom - did you know that washing their mouth with soap can have the kids taken from you? It is a non-edible item, and is considered child endangerment or some-such I don't remember what... but I had a neighbor who had been threatened with losing her kids if she did that (by a police officer).

    OP - I am one that doesn't make my son say "I'm sorry" if he doesn't mean it... however, when he is disrespectful or rude to someone (which is VERY seldom) I make him say something like, "I apologize for my rude behavior... it was disrespectful of me and I will mind my tone and words better". The other thing I tell people is that when he gives an apology not to respond with, "Oh, that's ok." because when he was younger he thought it meant that the action was ok.
    Also remember to show respect and not be rude to the kids (I see it happen, often) not accusing, just reminding.
    Good luck.

    Answer by indigostone at 12:45 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • my 6 year son like that too but i sit him down and talk to him and tell it not nice a few times he came up to me and ask me if its ok to talk back to teacher and i sat him and told him it not nice and ever since them he been doing good he had adhd and odd

    Answer by ilovemyson2002 at 6:17 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • That is just how a lot of children are at that age. They know it gets them attention and they don't know why the do it but they like it. Never hit! Try not to yell at them. Remember... you are teaching them. They're only 5 and 6! What do they know! Use a firm tone but don't yell and tell them. Just keep telling them that it's "not ok" to talk like that. One of my two boys had a potty mouth until he started Kindergarden and the teachers would not accept that talk. He learned I wasn't the only one correcting him. He really got much much better since school started. It's all just a phase but just keep reminding them AND don't use words you wouldn't want your child to say! I have heard Kinders say the F word! Watch it parents they'll repeat you (teachers know this) and it's your fault so don't take it out on your kid. Remember when you were a kid?

    Answer by dakota09 at 3:01 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • A lot of it has to do with the child (and not the parent, as I used to think). My oldest can be very disrespectful and no amount of punishment, harsh words, etc. do the trick. Instead, it encourages the rude behavior because she's the type of child that likes the attention, even if it's negative attention. So for her, we have to completely ignore her and not dignify the behavior with so much as getting our attention (words and eye contact). This makes her stop.

    Our youngest child on the other hand, is a pleaser and wants to make us happy. A stern look or saying her name in a sharp tone of voice is enough for her to shape up. You just have to figure out which is the best way to go with your particular child. I don't think it's a one size fits all answer.

    Answer by OrganicMermaid at 8:41 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

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