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I'm one big ball of insecurity

So I like this new guy and we have things in common, hung out once and had a cool time.I daydream of having more fun, a relationship, and all that but when I looked af a pic of him I think "he wouldn't find me attractive" or like I'm just a cool pal (which is cool too..sorta lol). I knkw I'm awesome but I tend to think the guys I like would never really be into me. Some reasons I tell's because I'm black, im not a size 6, I have a kid, im quirky in my own way, im not from the upper crust. I know I have great qualities and hate that I alwahs think im to ugly for someone. Any advice or suggestions on how to believe im beautiful enough to have a chance. ( this has been my biggest insecurity and haven't really shared it with anyone #brave?)

Answer Question

Asked by Jazmineamomma at 9:55 AM on Nov. 16, 2013 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,302 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Think about just why you think they would be better than you. You are beautiful and have a great personality, who made them the judge of you? Take a breath and realize that inside, they are probably just as insecure as you feel. So smile and hold your head up and feel all the good that you are.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:00 AM on Nov. 16, 2013

  • What happened with the older black guy from 2 weeks ago?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:04 AM on Nov. 16, 2013

  • Lol oh girl I was never really into that so Im over that.

    Comment by Jazmineamomma (original poster) at 10:11 AM on Nov. 16, 2013

  • Yea, back when I was single I had a hard time thinking a guy would want me for more then just sex. I basically gave up. Got tired of the guys who just wanted sex. So I put some rule in place. Or some ideas on how a guy would act if he really liked me. #1. Guy likes you when he will be with you on all his time off. Most important thing I found out

    Answer by louise2 at 10:31 AM on Nov. 16, 2013

  • Your child looks so young, you have been loved many-a-times!!! Baby daddy was in your life how long now? He loved you right? Even though he might have been a douch bag? In retrospect, you loved him too right even though he might have been a douch bag!? I think you might feel damaged from past relationship? I am taking my past a bit personal too but I am totally lovable. It might be too soon for you to date, just saying. You really need to love yourself right now. Have you felt unattractive your whole life? Because you are NOT btw! But you need to know that from within...not because I (some stranger from internet) is telling you so. A man will have you vulnerable in no time and you will feel you are desperately clingling on to him if you do not solve this before sharing your life with someone. Do things that impress yourself, date yourself, fall in love with yourself (selfish I know but...) you need it right now. GL

    Answer by lullaby572 at 11:46 AM on Nov. 16, 2013

  • lullaby572

    Answer by lullaby572 at 11:50 AM on Nov. 16, 2013

  • I think tons of people are in your boat. Self love is something we have to practice and really, it is SO important. Remember that you are who you are and you make no apologies for that. Few people are perfect and if they think they are, life will knock them down and straighten them out at some point. It always happens. You have a child, celebrate that! That's not a check mark against you. You love your kid and you are proud to be a mom. Tell yourself kind things every damn day even if you feel like a moron. Eventually, it'll ring true.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 3:50 PM on Nov. 16, 2013

  • It's always surprising to me how other people see us, or what they find attractive. Overall though, I think confidence is the most attractive physical trait a person can have. How many times have you known a beautiful person but they are sooo insecure about it, that it drives you nuts?? No one wants to be around someone who is always questioning if they look good or not. So start by telling yourself that for every person you see who you envy or admire, there are that many people who are looking at you thinking the same thing. And walk tall because of it. People are attracted to confidence and security, not a size 6...

    Answer by Nimue930 at 5:38 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

  • It isn't about what you're not. It's about what you are. Remember that. Be who you are. If someone loves tha, he'll be the right one for you. If he doesn't, he's not worth your time.

    Answer by Ballad at 7:00 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

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