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I don't know whether to forget about my daughters control over the grandkids or move on.

I have a very narcissistic son-in-law. He is a habitual liar and trouble maker that loves himself. My daughter is aware of his lies but doesn't seem to care because everyone tells her how handsome he is. I live 1200 miles from them. My daughter phoned and told me I was not to speak to anyone they did not like and if I did I would be punished. I'm 60 and have never heard of such nonsense. I spoke to someone they did not like and now I have been called every name in the book and no longer permitted to talk or see my grandchildren when I am in their area. My daughter is so disturbed she never went to her grandfather's funeral that was down the street from where she lives. Because she said she did not want to look at mine or my husbands "disgusting" faces. I adore my grandchildren. It is killing me mentally and physically. I've tried but she tells me to stay away, they hate me. I really want to see the kids. Should I give up? Help

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sadgrandma2015

Asked by sadgrandma2015 at 6:34 PM on Nov. 17, 2013 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • WTH! Unfortunately there is nothing you can do. I'm sorry!
    KTElite

    Answer by KTElite at 6:37 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

  • Wow. That sounds intense. Im sorry but you might not have a choice but to adhere to her wants unless you have enough ammo to go to court and prove they are unfit parents in some way. Or if your state has grandparents rights. It's hard to believe your daughter would be like this just bc she is married to a real prick. Seems like she'd be more mellow when he wasn't around, but that's just my opinion. If her dh is really so horrid, I think I'd start with trying to get my daughter away from him... He sounds abusive.
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 6:39 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

  • There has to be more to this story
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:56 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

  • I would not give up, kill them with kindness, or do whatever you need to do in order to have the contact with the grand kids...regardless of the issues, they are part of your family too.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:00 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

  • Never let someone else control you - even if your grandkids are involved. She will one day hopefully realize he's a douche if not your grandchildren will suffer as well as you but there is nothing you can do about that.
    luvmygrandgirl

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 7:00 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

  • yeah... there is so much more to this story. For starters what where you telling those people they don't like about them?? There has to be a reason they they didn't want those people in their business.
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 7:14 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

  • Nothing was said to anyone, that's what doesn't make sense. Because my son-in-law hates his brothers wife and I spoke to her is the problem. The entire family is shocked. However, My daughter threw her in-laws out of her house last Christmas Eve. Made them sleep in a hotel and take a flight out in the am. My husband believes that the reason her husband started trouble is because we had a close family and his family is not. Of course I told my daughter how horrible she was to do something so inconsiderate, disrespectful and plain rude. But my husband believes he wanted to disrupt our family because she did his. None of it makes sense. I really don't know why they think everyone talks about them because they don't. Even the day my dad died I received a call from my daughter asking me why I told some lady that I don't even know, that my father did not die. Now that's plain crazy. Info came from her husband & his mother
    sadgrandma2015

    Comment by sadgrandma2015 (original poster) at 8:05 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

  • Unfortunately you can only hope your daughter grows some brains and leaves this jackass.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:21 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

  • LOL! Sound like she is your mom! My youngest daughter told me if I do not change. To a person she says I have to change to. I am out of their lives. We'll, guess what? I am out of their lives. I will not change for any one but me. Talk to who you want. Sounds like she will find any reason to prevent you from seeing the kids anyways.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:24 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

  • I'm sorry. Having had a narcissistic person in my life for a few years, I can understand. Your daughter is completely controlled by him. That's what people like him do, they destroy the lives of those around them. They are not happy unless everyone around them is unhappy.

    Idk what you should do. Keep trying to see them, I guess. Those kids need a stable person in their lives, and obviously their parents are not.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 9:58 PM on Nov. 17, 2013

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