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Do you let your teen do this?

My 15 yo dd had called me yesterday after school saying that a friend had invited her over before basketball practice. I wish there wasn't a delay of 2 hours before practice on Tues & Thurs. but there is. We live 12 miles away from school too. My dd was calling from the school phone and I tried to call the school back they couldn't locate her so she had probably left. She didn't have her phone so I couldn't call her back on that to ask her if it was alright with her friends parents she hung up so fast.We do know the parents and have for years and years through sports but not well enough to know their morals, I guess.  They have this planned for Thursday too. There r 3 girls and her brother home alone. All they did was watch tv & eat but I just feel 'uneasy' about it. When I first asked if the girls parents knew, she said yes. Then I found out they DIDN'T KNOW that her friend said she 'they wouldn't care'. Well and they r eating their food too. Bet they wouldn't be ok to have them have OUR kid 2 times a week eating their food and what r they watching on tv, I wonder? I am afraid this girls parents don't even know in the first place & 3 girls left alone for 2 hrs 2 times a week and no supervision but maybe they r old enough? Maybe I'm being too overly protective? I know the one girl watches all the shows like gossip girls & pretty little liars but maybe that would be ok when they r watching them they can critique them right? R u or have u been always ok with this sort of thing with your girls?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Nov. 20, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • I have boys, but my rule was always that ...first of all, I needed to meet and talk to parents, second, no parents home, no they can't be there. Just my rule though.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:54 AM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • I don't allow my teens to go to a friends house when a parent isn't there, nor are my kids allowed to have friends over when I'm not home.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:57 AM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • I agree with ohwrite & missanc on this one. Always follow your gut instincts- they won't lead you wrong.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:05 AM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • My kids aren't that old yet but I wouldn't let my child hang out at someone's home that I did not know or speak to the Parents yet let alone unattended along with boys. Call that Mom & talk to her. Better yet, go over to that house on Thursday unannounced & take a peek at what's going on. I think I would speak to the Coach as well about making practice earlier.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:26 AM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • If you know the parents thru sports then you need to talk to them. At 15 there should be no problem leaving a child at a home with their friends for a few hours. If they spend that time at the school they can get in just as much trouble as they could at a friends house. Maybe more. Many schools won't allow the students to stick around that long after school until their next practice.

    I'd talk to the parents and if they're ok with it perhaps you could help provide snacks on one of the days. There were many days that my daughters would go to a friends house and "chill out" until band/play/basketball/etc practice. I'd also make sure the kids know they have to make sure they leave the house in good shape and not trash it.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 10:38 AM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • I think 15 is old enough to be left home alone, but that's not the issue here. The issue is that you believe the parents are not aware of what's going on - and it doesn't matter how old the kids are, that is wrong. If you believe that the parents don't know, I would either tell her that she can't go over there or tell her that you need to speak with the parents to confirm that they are aware of what's going on before she goes over there.

    Why is there 2 hours between the end of school and practice? I would see if that could be changed, because that seems silly to me.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:52 AM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • I think since you know the parents, it's not a big deal if she goes there for an hour or two
    BUT
    the parents need to know about it
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:55 AM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • I don't see the big deal. Do you trust your daughter?
    This is one of those times where being on her own helps to be accountable and prove she's responsible.
    If she screws up, you know she isn't to be trusted, and you tighten the leash a bit.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:02 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • I wouldn't do it. Teens alone together can come up with some bad ideas. I have one, and we've been through some bad things. Tell them to go to your house.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:01 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • Not un;less it was preapproved and not with a boy or boys in the house as well.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:18 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

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