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My daughter is 36 years old and is still making up horrible stories that happened to her as a child which makes me look like such a monster or terrible person? She has been married 2 times and has

2 children, she has recently decided she is gay and blames me and her past for it.

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Asked by patty745 at 11:00 AM on Nov. 20, 2013 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Just reading your scanty post, you blame her for being stupid, and she blames you for a shitty childhood. What do you own up to?

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:20 AM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • Sooo ypu come on here to bash her but try to tell us she had the most perfect upbringing. Yeah calling bullshit on this one.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 11:37 AM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • Interesting. My mom goes around telling people I've made up horrible stories about her, too. I assert that I've made up nothing; they're all true. There are two sides to every coin. Good luck to both of you.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:17 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • Gay= from birth, so yes, you may inadvertently be responsible since you gave birth to her.
    Tell us the rest of your story. Please oh please.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:51 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • Sounds like each of you need therapy and then in the future maybe some therapy together.
    If she will listen tell her is she is gay that is OK with you but for her own sake to take her time before being with someone new.

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:15 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • Ok. That's nice.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 6:53 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • I am really surprised at the responses I received on that site. Obviously it is not a place for me . I m very disappointed

    Comment by patty745 (original poster) at 10:54 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • What did you expect? You're blaming your daughter for hating you, and not taking any responsibility for WHY she hates you.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:40 AM on Nov. 21, 2013

  • I was only reaching out to someone who may have experienced the same thing and would be able to give me some advice on how to deal with it. I never once indicated any sarcazim or anger on my part, just some help in understanding why someone what act this way towards someone they supposing love. I never bad mouth anyone I was just looking for some advice on how to handle these emotions I am feeling of hurt.

    Comment by patty745 (original poster) at 12:26 PM on Nov. 21, 2013

  • I can understand why this hurts & is upsetting.

    Well, you can't really stop her. The only thing you can control is how you respond.
    What if you assume that she's saying what she says for a reason?
    One author of a parenting book I read awhile back thanked her husband & three sons in the acknowledgments section of her book, and I remember she said she'd learned from her first/oldest son that the child "makes his own movie of his childhood, and that is the only childhood he has." What matters is what that person thinks, and what meaning he derives. It doesn't matter if the mom is/was doing the best she could. Of course that matters to her, and about her, but it doesn't change that the child's experience is personal and what matters is his/her actual experience. Not "objective reality."
    Instead of going right to debating reality or history, consider realizing that this indicates hurt & resentment on her part.

    Answer by girlwithC at 7:57 PM on Nov. 21, 2013

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