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7 Bumps

If you had issues in your life growing up...

Does it make you feel better to tirelessly rehash or talk about it all the time. I would think at some point in your adult life you would give it a rest and move forward. I know so many people who I their 30,40 and 50s still can't get a grip and move on. I find it sad.

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Asked by funlovinlady at 1:47 PM on Nov. 20, 2013 in Relationships

Level 33 (59,349 Credits)
Answers (31)
  • I never talk about my issues. As I see it, they're mine & mine alone. I also don't tend to whine about stuff, I'm a suck it up buttercup kind of person.

    Answer by 3libras at 1:49 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • Change your story, change your life.
    Everyone has their own shit they have to deal with. The difference is whether you choose to let it consume you or move on and learn from it.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:55 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • Exactlly PGA. Thank you!!

    Comment by funlovinlady (original poster) at 1:59 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • I guess it depends on what it is. And you're right... some people do have a hard time getting over their past and making their lives their own. I think it takes a truly happy person to pick up the pieces and carry on. I know with me I was hung up on all the bad things until I met my now-fiance - he helped me turn it all around and gave me a reason to forget the bad things and make new good things.

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 2:02 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • I don't drag my issues into every conversation jus for the sake of whining or getting attention or being dramatic, but I'm also not going to tiptoe around them anymore if I happen to feel the need to speak up. I spent years keeping secrets, protecting others, feeling ashamed to say anything, bottling stuff up; I'm done with that. If the subject comes up, if I think someone else might be helped by hearing about something that happened to me, if there's a debate question on CM and something I went through seems to apply, then I'm not going to shrink back from it. What I went through is a part of who I am. Not all of who I am, but it helped to make me strong, brave, kind, determined--and maybe an all-around pain in the ass as well. So be it.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:07 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • funlovinlady

    Comment by funlovinlady (original poster) at 2:15 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • I think a person has to find a balance. One can talk too much about her past, but she can also bury it to the point it will eventually kill her. Been on both sides of this issue, and I can tell you it's healthier to talk to a few people about all the bad stuff that has been hidden away for a lifetime. Moving on is a choice, but sometimes one cannot move on until the past has been looked at and dealt with.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:16 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • Yes indeed ONE can talk TOO much about her past, we all know that!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • there are a handful of people who know about things in my life, and they are :

    my husband
    a very very dear friend
    the ones who caused the pain or abuse
    not even my own parents know every detail of things

    I think that sharing to help is one thing but I would do it anon, I would not want every tom dick and harry on here knowing me that personally

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 2:36 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

  • Yes indeed ONE can talk TOO much about her past, we all know that!

    Thank you, Anon. Brave and clever as usual. You add so much to the discussion.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:36 PM on Nov. 20, 2013

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