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Need help with my 7 year old

My 7 year old son breaks out in a crazy tantrum every time he even has a sip of soda. I stopped letting him drink it, but tonight he went into a crazy tantrum over the smallest thing. And he screams at me, hits my husband and then lies to others that we abuse him (which we by no means do!) and he also forgets about the tantrum like 30mins after it happens. I've tried everything to stop and control it but nothing I'm doing is working. I've even thought of taking him to get tested for behavioral problems. But I feel like a terrible mom and I'm so confused on what to do.
Thanks!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Nov. 21, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (25)
  • Talk to the pediatrician about behavior and ask for referral for an evaluation. Nothing wrong with wanting to understand what's going on with your child.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 8:16 PM on Nov. 21, 2013

  • You need to take him to the doctor, he could be having a kind of sezirue or something.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 8:29 PM on Nov. 21, 2013

  • I'm gonna call his doctor, I just hope I can get answers.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:31 PM on Nov. 21, 2013

  • Sounds like ADHD. You would be wise to consult a developmental pediatrician for testing. In the meantime ignore the screaming and block the hitting. If he's not getting a reaction he may stop. Try non-specific attention when he does good things. For example if he's watching TV, just say something like "I like how you're sitting." He needs attention and it's better for you to give him positive reinforcement rather than negative attention.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:39 PM on Nov. 21, 2013

  • "My 7 year old son breaks out in a crazy tantrum every time he even has a sip of soda"

    then why are you giving him soda?
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 9:01 PM on Nov. 21, 2013

  • I stopped letting him drink soda months ago. And I do give positive reinforcement and reward his good behavior and I've even tried different ways of approaching his meltdowns on my part. He only drinks milk and water and all natural juices. I may be confused but not stupid... Would never continue to allow him to drink soda when it causes him as much trauma as it does.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:33 PM on Nov. 21, 2013

  • There must be something in the soda, I don't know what. Is there anything except soda that sets this off?
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:13 PM on Nov. 21, 2013

  • So I am not clear about what you are saying. Is this behavior tied to soda (only happens when he consumes it) and tonight's (last night's) crazy tantrum over the smallest thing was after he had some soda? Or he had this tantrum but hadn't had any soda at all? I can't tell if the soda detail is irrelevant or significant!

    I assumed you meant you stopped letting him have soda and he doesn't get it regularly, but sometimes he gets some anyway, and when he does, he behaves this way. And that this is what happened last night.

    But it sounds like maybe he hasn't had ANY soda for months, yet he still melts down.

    If he only drinks milk & water, or all natural juices, but this behavior continues, then I don't really think the soda detail is the significant information. I would not give it to him, but I would not try to link the behavior to the soda consumption as causative, or specifically emphasize the connection with soda!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:07 AM on Nov. 22, 2013

  • You also could consider whether the same trigger exists elsewhere in his diet. Things like applesauce can contain red dyes, and many times they routinely contain added sugar, if you aren't using one made with JUST apples. Peanut butter is another food frequently containing more than peanuts & salt, depending on what you buy. If your child is sensitive to common food additives, you may see reactions to more than one trigger, even after successfully removing the biggest/most obvious one.

    In what context does the "lying to others" part happen? Is that part of the immediate, impulsive behavior or something else?

    Regardless of the intensity, I think what you're seeing/dealing with is emotional. It may be triggered & intensified by environmental factors (from his diet), but the behavior itself is emotional expression. If your response is focused on "stopping & controlling" it, you'll likely continue to escalate things.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:22 AM on Nov. 22, 2013

  • What I mean is, when it's happening, it's an emotional event. You can work to identify what's triggering it if you think there may be chemical additives or even allergens (even an "all natural" food is going to cause problems if someone is sensitive or allergic to it!) that are irritating his system. But if you apply a behavioral focus to an emotional event (or, to a behavior that is emotionally driven), you are ignoring the underlying causes--the fact that emotions are driving the behavior. Deal with the emotions constructively & optimally, and the behaviors won't continue escalating (in reaction TO parental resistance of them), and ultimately the behaviors will resolve.
    Connect emotionally in that moment (acknowledging whatever he is upset about, even if it's the smallest thing!), bringing clear acceptance to his feelings & protective limits to his acting out if there's aggression--a non-punitive physical (NOT verbal) limit.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:38 AM on Nov. 22, 2013

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