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They say to talk things out, but what if you are too mad to talk?

Haven't really spoken much to DH in the last couple of days. Don't really want to get into reasons why, but let's just say he's wrong. He's made no attempts at correcting the problem either. So wondering how long do you guys let things go in silence before you finally talk it out?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Nov. 24, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Until you are both cooled down & can see the issue slightly through the other persons eyes.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:46 PM on Nov. 24, 2013

  • Depends on the problem and how it impacts me or our marriage. I don't like to leave things unsaid, so even when it's hard I have to communicate my feelings. I usually need to collect my thoughts when I am angry so that I don't say something I will regret. I only take a few hours to do that, at least if I am so angry or hurt that I need more time I still will communicate. I find the silent treatment as an immature manipulation. DH is a communicator and gets bothered when I don't want to talk immediately when I am still angry, so I don't get the silent treatment from him. I have explained why I need a cooling off period and he understands that, but our basic agreement is that communication is necessary. The silent treatment wouldn't fly in our home.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:49 PM on Nov. 24, 2013

  • If it needs two days of silence, then my bags would already be packed and I'd be gone at the end of day one. I used to have a boyfriend who'd do the silent treatment and I swore NEVER to do that to anyone or allow it to be done to me.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:55 PM on Nov. 24, 2013

  • Well no matter what it was, I wouldn't go 2 days without discussing it. I guess it depends on what he did, for extreme things, like cheating or abuse, there would be no reason to talk.
    Didn't take out the trash? We would just speak about it.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 12:48 PM on Nov. 24, 2013

  • He didn't cheat and has never abused me. I guess I need more time to cool down like ILoveMyPaulie said. Thank you ladies.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:53 PM on Nov. 24, 2013

  • I'd start walking your way
    You'd start walking mine
    We'd meet in the middle
    'Neath that old Georgia pine

    We'd gain a lot of ground
    'Cause we'd both give a little
    There ain't no road too long
    When we meet in the middle

    Meet in the Middle~Diamond Rio

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:22 PM on Nov. 24, 2013

  • If your emotions get in the way to talk, write it out! this is what I do! I find that putting my thoughts in paper I can think clearly than if I talk......

    Answer by older at 1:26 PM on Nov. 24, 2013

  • In 12 years I have never been mad enough at my DH that we went that long without talking. I have a hard time just sitting there, so if there's a problem I bring it up immediately, if its bad enough to make me walk away I do so, but it never takes more than an hour for me to coo down.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 1:42 PM on Nov. 24, 2013

  • I do not wait. I just start talking about it. If I leave it. We will never talk about it.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:13 PM on Nov. 24, 2013

  • I always find that it helps to write my feelings down. Write them down, hide them under your mattress. Let it go till you simmer down.... then bring out the what your wrote. If you still feel the same way, give him the paper and let him read it.

    Answer by m-avi at 2:31 PM on Nov. 24, 2013