Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Someone please help me my 18 year old daughter is brainwashed my her bf who steals to survive ..she steals from me to give to him., than lies about everything .. I'm miserable please help!

She just turned 18 dropped out of her last year in high school, he hit her very bad once she forgave him. Than she just would run away not tell me at all for weeks at a time living in the streets she's not on drugs, she' says she's in love and according to her when you're in love you will do anything for your man including stab me in the back and loose her reputation everyone is calling her a bum and whore she just thinks they're jealous but Tells her talk to guys so that he can rob them . He uses her but if I dare tell her that she defends him saying I love him he loves me & he would die for me, she is blind right now, lost all her family & friends I'm the only one by her side . She doesn't respect me at all'!! She's home now because he's locked up for robbery but she's writing to him and saying she will wait for him no matter what ! She's been seeing him for one year now .. Please help what should i do??? I want to help her

Answer Question
 
Momlove4eva

Asked by Momlove4eva at 3:29 AM on Nov. 26, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Help her by giving her tough love. Put rules down. Go back to school or get a job. Help out around the house. If you do not do any of these, get out. Find a different place to stay.
    Advice,, put your valuble away.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:31 AM on Nov. 26, 2013

  • make her move out
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:47 AM on Nov. 26, 2013

  • Kick her out of your house and change the locks. There's no stealing from mom to give to him. Unfortunately she has to want to change. You can try taking her to therapy sessions, but in reality she is an adult now and free to screw up her life as she sees fit. You do not need to get involved in the drama just be there for her if she decides maybe something has to change.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:00 AM on Nov. 26, 2013

  • If you catch her again stealing anything from you, send her to jail. That's the only way she's going to learn. Love must be tough. Being her friend and enabling her to continue in this kind of lifestyle is not going to help her at all. If she brings something home that you think she has stolen somewhere else, same thing applies. Bust her every chance you get.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:28 AM on Nov. 26, 2013

  • I would sit and make some conditions, she needs to get her GED and stop communicating with him in order to live in your home.
    I would give her 24 hours to decide what she is going to do.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 9:45 AM on Nov. 26, 2013

  • Let them be together.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:24 PM on Nov. 26, 2013

  • Why is she still allowed in your house?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:51 PM on Nov. 26, 2013

  • It's hard, but till she opens her eyes and decides to help herself, there's nothing you can do for her. Don't walk away completely. But give her no money till she snaps out of it. A place to sleep and food in her belly if it comes down to that, but no money. No video games, no cel phone, no designer clothes, no going out, no car, no nothing. She's not a child. If she wants to curl up and wait for a loser, then she can curl up and wait.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 5:06 PM on Nov. 26, 2013

  • We've all been fooled by "love" at some point in our lives (usually at a young age like your daughter). It can be tough because she's at an age where she's probably not going to listen to you anyway. The best you can do is be supportive of her (though I'm sure it's hard) so she won't end up hating you in the long run. Do your best to have adult conversations with her (since she is not a child anymore) and try to remember what it was like to be 18. My parents disagreed with everything I did at 18 - I wasn't THAT wreckless, but I drank a lot and wouldn't come home on weekends. They ended up kicking me out of the house and I got pregnant shortly after that - I don't blame them, that's just how the timing worked out. I would've done anything to hang onto their support, rather than have to win it back like I did.
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 5:56 PM on Nov. 26, 2013

  • Oh my God thank you all so much for the advise ! It just kills me to know he's just using her but I will let her learn on her own . Thank God She's home now since he's in jail &
    Unfortunately that's the only reason she's home because he's locked up, he will be in jail for at least a year so I hope this us enough time for her to wake up. And I did tell her she needs to go to school or get a job. She still has an attitude Everytime I tell her Anything but I just show her done with her reckless behavior so I'm just praying now that this all ends soon and I get my old daughter back, think you all soo much I appreciate it!!! God bless you all!
    Momlove4eva

    Comment by Momlove4eva (original poster) at 7:03 PM on Nov. 26, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN