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Teen Marriages?

I just read a post about a mom's daughter who is 17 and getting engaged. Would you allow your teens to get married or engaged or would you make them wait?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:07 AM on Nov. 27, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (18)
  • I should hope that by the time mine are that age that I will have instilled in them that the most important thing in life for them is to complete their education, get a good job and be all that they can be first.
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 5:23 AM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • I don't see anything wrong with getting ENGAGED at 17. Things could change between the proposal and the actual wedding date.

    I don't believe all teenagers are incapable of making decisions like this. That's like saying all strawberries must be sour and tart because the one I just ate was.

    You (general) expect them to grow up and start acting like an adult but continue to shackle them to childhood by claiming they are not old enough to make adult decisions. Not "mature" enough. It's ridiculous. Make up your damn minds.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 5:29 AM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • "the most important thing in life for them is to complete their education, get a good job and be all that they can be first." [goldpandora]

    No, the most important thing in life is that they are happy on the path THEY have chosen ... not the path mommy has laid out for them. It shouldn't matter if they marry or go to college, as long as they are happy.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 5:33 AM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • My DD, who is 15, already understands that marriage is a 'leave and cleave' situation. If you are old enough to marry, you are old enough to take care of yourselves without Mom and Dad's help. She already plans to finish college before she marries. Of course, plans can change, but she HAS a plan. She isn't planning to marry while in high school, so she's not even looking for a fellow.

    My DS, who is 10, and I are already talking about marriage and commitment. He's still at the age that we talk when he has a question/reason. He was "engaged" a couple years ago, so we discussed what it took to be a good husband very seriously. My friend thought I was nuts, but my DS was as serious as a 3rd grader could be about her DD, so I ran with it. No, I don't want him to marry until he can be a good husband. I am teaching him the 'leave and cleave' version of marriage, too. Btw, they are no longer engaged, but they are still friends. ;)
    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 5:35 AM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • I got married at 18, and that was almost 49 years ago. So it can and does sometimes work. However, most teens today are too immature, so I taught our children that dating was for the purpose of selecting a marriage partner. They all got college degrees before they married. I got mine, too, but it was 8 years and 1 baby later, and it was very hard to do it all at the same time. I don't recommend it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 AM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • I accidentally hit the anon button. Sorry. Never aim to do that!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:47 AM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • engaged is one thing. They could have a long engagement

    actually getting married though, no.
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 7:13 AM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • I would strongly encourage them to wait so they can accomplish goals toward becoming self sufficient. (like college) What's the rush? If they are truly in love, then their love will survive getting a degree & starting a career. It's like when my son who was 21 at the time went to see a Dr. about getting a vasectomy- the Dr. told him "NO". What you think you want at such a young age can change as you mature.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:13 AM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • Well engaged is one thing. Marraige,NO. Not tell she turned 18. Can't stop her after that. But I would inform her that if she did get married at 18. They better have their own place to live, or some where else to live. Married people do not live with their parents. At least here in the USA.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:18 AM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • I meant to add on mine that I got married at 15 (he was 18) ... that was 28 years ago. We only had one kid. I earned three degrees, one while home schooling our son. We have had bad and good times. We have been through my husband being disabled by a spinal tumor and the loss of our son but we are still together and still strong.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 7:18 AM on Nov. 27, 2013

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