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If my daughters dad pays child support, does he have legal rights?

He's in the military, married, and his wife is about to give birth to their child. The daughter that him and I have together is 15 months old, he has never seen nor asked about her one time since she's been born. His wife is really bad on drugs and not the type of person I would wan my child around.. My family has recently talked me into asking for support, now I'm worried about him asking for visitation when he's never cared about her before. Advice please!

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Asked by Kb96663 at 3:59 PM on Nov. 27, 2013 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Visitation and support orders are separate. He does not have visitation if he does not have a court order saying he has visitation. He may seek visitation though, but he will again have to go through the courts.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 4:01 PM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • One thing really doesn't have to do with the other. A person can pay CS, and NOT have visitation, or they can NOT pay CS and still have visitation... Visitation usually depends on: 1. the non custodial parent asks for it and 2. they are deemed fit to be around a kid. So those are the two things you have to look at. GL

    Answer by Nimue930 at 4:01 PM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • They're two separate issues in court. Yes, if you file for child support, he can turn around and file for visitation. But child support can be ordered without visitation and vice versa. If he files for visitation, you can explain how he's shown no interest, doesn't know her, etc. and that could sway the judge to a point. If you have proof of his wife's drug use, that *may* at least get supervised visitation to prevent her being around the child, but there's no certainty of that.

    Truthfully, though, if he's never shown any interest in her, I doubt he'll file for visitation - and even if he does and gets it, he probably won't actually use it.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 4:04 PM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • His wife is pregnant and on drugs?! They will figure that out at the hospital when she has the baby then. That could factor into whether or not he gets visitation if he ever petitions the court to ask for it. Like the other ladies said, the 2 issues are separate. If you need help supporting your child, you should get it set up thru the courts. GL

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:09 PM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • It amazes me how many girls have children and don't research their legal issues right off the bat, instead waiting years to figure out if the dad can come take the child etc.

    The minute we knew my daughter was pregnant we contacted a lawyer to find out and all legal issues that might come up.

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 4:17 PM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • 15 month old child + 9 months pregnancy= 24 months ago the two of you conceived. She conceived about the time your daughter was born? How long before that was he in your life? When did he get married? He was with both of you at the same time? Did you know he was married?

    He's military and his wife's on drugs? How is that possible? She never goes to medical? They test for drugs regularly. How is she not caught?

    Please do NOT actually post the answers to those questions...just be prepared to answer them with a Judge. If he's going to determine Daddy's parental fitness...for visitation and other rights...he should also evaluate your parental fitness for the sake of the child involved.

    Support is just a DNA test to prove paternity...and then a court hearing to decide how much he pays...

    However, if his wife doesn't know about then she will. Would she be a danger to you or your child? Think restraining order.

    Answer by vanillaorchida at 4:26 PM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • Friend had a one night stand with her ex. Her daughter was the result. When she went to get support...that was when his new wife found out.

    His new wife threatened to "stab to death the little bastard baby...". My friend had to get a restraining order against the wife to protect her child. So Daddy had visitation rights but not while his wife was with him.

    Answer by vanillaorchida at 4:31 PM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • I was with him for 2 years prior, we broke up the month after I found out I was pregnant. He then got Ito a relationship with the girl he's married to now, and their baby together is due in a few months. He was not marrie when him and I were together.. I wouldn't do something like that. I have proof of her drug use, pictures and several people's statements in case I ever need them. I've had several mutual friends tell me as well that while I was pregnant his wife made statements that she couldn't wait until I have birth so she could get ahold of me, and made very ignorant comments about how the child wasn't his when he was the only man I had ever been with at that point.

    Comment by Kb96663 (original poster) at 5:26 PM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • I'm a great mother that is with my daughter every single day, besides when I am at college. Even then so, my mother is the one watching her. We are the only family she knows, he has never even attempted to know her.. But she is now 15 months old and my parents suggested that I should file for child support considering he is in the military, and should be obligated to pay. He can't use te excuse that I meet offered for him to see her either. When I was pregnant an he was already with his new girlfriend I called him to let him know that our daughter was a girl, he laughed and hung up the phone. I called him a week before I had the baby and he hung up on me when I told him what day was my c section. Then again, when my daughter was born my mother called him when we got home and she was a week old offering him to come see her, he refused. A couple months went by and it was Christmas time and to come see her, he again refused.

    Comment by Kb96663 (original poster) at 5:33 PM on Nov. 27, 2013

  • Great dad. He should still pay, especially if he is in the military because they will make him. He doesn't ever have to see her. He probably won't, but he should still support her financially. What a ... never mind, it's his loss.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:47 PM on Nov. 27, 2013

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