I have a daughter grown and out of the house as well as a 5 year old son. He has a 5 year old son also. We have been living together for over a year, but 9 months ago P and I has an enormous fight, he tried to get drunk to drown his anger, but it just added fuel to a fire......horrible things were said and a few things in the house were broken. He lived with his buddy for a while, but after talking, promises of AA and a few counseling sessions- he moved back in. He has been alcohol free, going to AA and counseling and things have been great on that front.
But other things are popping up..... 1) His son has autism, and he is very easy-going in regards to the therapy and work that needs to be done on a daily basis to help his son learn and grow. He wants him to thrive and work towards being productive/typical....but doesn't seem motivated to do what needs to be done. 2) His boss totally screwed him over regarding his pay and a few other things (5 months of issues), and he seems content to let it happen. He is a founding member of the company and has lots of faith that the company will succeed and he will be making 6 figures soon. I don't have that confidence at all. Thats a 400% pay increase. 3) I come up with a gameplan for our paychecks...and once he gets his (he gets paid every other week)- it's spent. Gone. We might pay one utility bill with it, but thats it. My paycheck goes for everything else. Rent, car, utilities, food, etc.
I'm losing respect for him because of all this. I think if one of these four things had happened, it would bother me so. But- these four things in only 9 months....it's too much.
So, I've been toying with the idea of asking him to move out- and prove to me that he can be a man, support himself, be the father that his son needs and woo me back.
I know it may ruin the relationship- but I'm afraid having this go on and on and on, will ruin it too.
I'm a disabled single mom....do I follow my heart or my brain?
Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Dec. 2, 2013 in Relationships
Answer by Dardenella at 1:51 PM on Dec. 2, 2013
Answer by NannyB. at 1:53 PM on Dec. 2, 2013
Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:55 PM on Dec. 2, 2013
Answer by missanc at 1:59 PM on Dec. 2, 2013
Answer by Nimue930 at 1:59 PM on Dec. 2, 2013
Answer by gdiamante at 2:03 PM on Dec. 2, 2013
I don't know what you should do. We just get to see this little window of what you describe.
From what you wrote, #2 isn't that much of an issue IMO, just because you can't change how much money he makes. If he is a founding member of this business, then I am guessing that he is vested in it. Perhaps he can pick up a part time job if time allows to make up the money to help contribute to the household expenditures.
#1 is an issue because he is showing you what kind of parent he is. You will end up doing most of the work for his child while he is in your care.
#3 is also an issue if it means that he is spending his money on other things than bills and necessities because he is showing you how he prioritizes things in his life.
I would always suggest basing decisions on thinking instead of feelings.
Answer by QuinnMae at 2:05 PM on Dec. 2, 2013
Answer by louise2 at 4:55 PM on Dec. 2, 2013
Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:45 PM on Dec. 2, 2013
Answer by tempsingl3mom at 9:26 PM on Dec. 2, 2013