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Family issues after my daughters suicide attempt letter...

Well,to start off I found out about 3 weeks ago that my daughter had wriitten a letter to attmept suicide. She never gave it to anyone,but it fell out of her notebook turned into the office etc. Well she started seeing her therapist again after this. After a couple visits she told her therapist that she wanted to harm herself. She was admitted into a hospital for 4 days so they could get to the bottom of her problems. She is 13 and my oldest is 15. We have been trying to be easy on her after she done this. Not letting her get away with everything, but not as rough as we would normally be. Well my 15 year old says we are letting her get away with everything and he is being really hateful with her for no reason. I also thinkm he is mad at her for doing this to the family. He won't see the councelor andwon't talk to us. Any suggestions for how I might could help him through this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Dec. 3, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • He is 15. You say he will see the counselor, he sees the counselor.
    You may need to have some counseling yourself and maybe improve your parenting skills. If you describe the way you normally handle problems with your kids as harsh, I would suggest it. You may need to have family counseling as well.

    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:36 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • I really do not think you should be easier on her then usually. Just because she wrote a letter. And said to someone she want to harm herself?
    Need to go back to treating her the same way you use to. And tell her hurting herself is only going to hurt her not you.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:49 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • give him time. is your daughter being bullied or anything like?
    christina122952

    Answer by christina122952 at 2:52 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • 1: I agree with Dardenella if you think your parenting is harsh normally then seek out help to see if you need to change your parenting style.

    2: if your parenting style is average and non abusive etc....then you should not be treating her any different then you normally would as far as regular everyday things. this is coming from a person who had a lot of issues with self harm and suicide attempts as a younger person.

    3: your son is upset A: because what she did upset him and B: He sees her getting rewarded for her negative behavior.

    Go to family counseling and make EVERYONE go.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 3:26 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • Louise, hurting herself, will hurt her parents!
    She sounds depressed beyond belief, but here is the thing, normal activity must progress, and if you are working with your counselor this is the best way to proceed.
    Being easy on her, Meaning she no longer has chores, or allowing her to go out with friends?
    If she thinks you are tip-toeing around the situation, she will think she has become some kind of burden, or you don't see her as healthy, I would treat her as normal as you can, now if you had been whipping her or something that is a complete different story, perhaps some more information would help. Examples please, and good luck!
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:17 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • You have to treat them the same as you usually did. Counseling is a good idea. But give them both a lot of love. DD is obviously going through something if she wants to hurt herself. And DS is also going through his own pain. You need to communicate with both of them a lot.
    jenny3344

    Answer by jenny3344 at 11:15 AM on Dec. 4, 2013

  • He probably thinks your letting her get away with everything, because the teenage mind bookmarks things, so maybe he'll bring up how you let her go 6 or7 things. A casual sentence like "bring your phone" for a kid without a cell phone will subconciously bookmark that under a keyword. You can mention something 2 days later and the keyword will pop up and next thing you know, that kid is acting like everyone says that word that is bothering them 70 times a day. You need to choose an offense that you won't let her off the hook for, bring up your son, and show him that she get's in trouble too
    DKWSD

    Answer by DKWSD at 2:16 AM on Dec. 9, 2013

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