Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I need advise

i ended an almost 13 year relationship today. he is the only bf ive ever had, we have 3 kids together. he has been abusive in the past and cheated on my with strippers and random chicks at a fucking gas station. heres my problem im living with my parents I have no job no money really no anything except my kids. I don't wanna sound weak but I don't know what to do. im paralyzed with pain and fear that hes gonna hurt me and/or try and take my kids. he will do / say anything to anyone to get his way. im so scared! any advise help would be great. does anyone know of any places that would help me? im 27 years old never had to do anything on my own before I don't wanna let my kids down im so lost and he wont leave me alone.

Answer Question
 
mamasmurf171

Asked by mamasmurf171 at 2:55 PM on Dec. 3, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 13 (973 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • First thing is you need to get tested for STD's. Then you need to find an attorney. If he has a history if violence, then gather any documentation or proof of his behavior and keep that safe. If necessary, make a copy and give it to someone you trust like your mother or father. You need to consult with an attorney so that you know what your rights are. That is actually probably the first thing you should do, then get tested.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 3:02 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • What are your telling you to do? Will they help with daycare so you can get a job. Have you went to the PA office yet to see if you can get financial help their? They help with daycare too I think. They will help you get child support to I think?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:02 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • The best thing you could've done was end the relationship. That is the first step to getting your life on track. I would look into some type of Work First program if your state has one. They may be able to help you locate a suitable job and possibly give you some financial help since you have children and are unemployed. Don't be scared to get out there and get your own life. Only you control your future and the future of your children. I hope your situation improves.
    jlassiter29

    Answer by jlassiter29 at 3:03 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • Get a restraining order ASAP if you have not already done so.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 3:04 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • You need a job, and a lawyer.
    PFA FIRST, Child support & custody NEXT.
    Call your local police station and make them aware of the situation.
    Do not answer any correspondence from him unless it is thru your lawyer.
    Tell your parents the same. If he calls, do not answer, do not respond.

    And drill this into your head- YOU DON'T NEED HIM AND YOU WILL BE FINE WITHOUT HIM.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 3:11 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • Take one day at a time. take a deep breath. You made the right decision to leave him. DON'T GO BACK! Get a restraining order, get a divorce, go to Social Services & start a new life for yourself & the kids.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:14 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • I understand that hindsight is 20/20, but for the love of God, why did you have more than 1 baby with an abusive man? You have been given very good advice, you need a restraining order and a lawyer, and God Bless your parents for taking you and your kids in, time to woman up and get tough!
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 6:03 PM on Dec. 3, 2013

  • How are you supporting your kids at your parents house?
    jenny3344

    Answer by jenny3344 at 1:49 PM on Dec. 4, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN