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my son is in the navy, his girlfriend of 5 months got pregnant. She is due anyday, we want to start helpign with the baby. No child support has been started. What is a good amouth to help out monthly?

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Lillobaby

Asked by Lillobaby at 3:49 AM on Dec. 4, 2013 in Military

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • There are online support calculators, google child support calculator and your state. It's best to go through the courts so everything is documented but Im not sure your son could start that, but definitely keep a record of every bit of money he gives/spends in case there is ever an issue!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 6:30 AM on Dec. 4, 2013

  • She's been his girlfriend 5 months, and is due any day? Were they sleeping together before they officially got together? If not, it doesn't add up for this child being his, and he shouldn't be paying child support for a child that isn't his, no matter how much he wants to "help out." Helping out like that will lead to him being on the hook for a child that isn't his, and a future wife and children will likely not be too thrilled about that.

    If it is his and they were sleeping together before they officially got together, then the best thing to do is go through the courts. I'm not sure how that would work with him in the Navy, but it would be the best way for everyone - it best protects everyone's interest in the situation.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:19 AM on Dec. 4, 2013

  • Your calculations don't add up. If she's pregnant she's at the very most five months pregnant & that is if they screwed on first date and she got pregnant. Fill in the gaps, please.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 7:53 AM on Dec. 4, 2013

  • I assume you meant he was with her for 5 months, then went into the Navy while she was pregnant? I would encourage you and him to have a DNA test done, and go through the courts to get a legal custody and child support arrangement, you never know how this could turn out, and if you do it the legal way, there will be no room for her to come back and say he didn't pay or something.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 8:47 AM on Dec. 4, 2013

  • Nothing. He should be the one financially taking care of the baby.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:51 AM on Dec. 4, 2013

  • You are talking about you making a donation to this girl's income? NO, No, No! She needs to go after the child support and do what she needs to do BEFORE you offer assistance.
    Buy a gift or some diapers but understand that they will probably not last.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:10 PM on Dec. 4, 2013

  • When the baby is born, get a DNA test, and let the courts handle it from there.
    DO NOT give her money.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:51 PM on Dec. 4, 2013

  • Great answers! Yes they dated for a few months before he left, I am requesting Dna testing which has not put me as the bad guy. I was told I am not allowed to see baby. My son wont be home till the baby is 5 months. He cant do anything, has asked the mom to not keep baby from us. She wont agree to PT test or will on her " own damn time" her mother is threating child support, which is fine, but I want him to help out before so we can show it as good faith & not just abandoning her. I feel its my grandbaby but we both want to be sure. Its all going down hill fast. Baby is due any day. The mom already threaten him cuz he wasn't paying Girlfriend support!! Is it best to let the courts deal w/ it and not give her anything or give her a little something monthly in good faith they will wait till he comes home to get this all straighten out,Just heartbroken over this whole situation! Ive been told I am butting in. He is not here
    Lillobaby

    Comment by Lillobaby (original poster) at 3:57 PM on Dec. 4, 2013

  • Before he has to pay one dime of support the judge will order a paternity test, make sure your son request it when the baby is born. It sucks that they are not going to allow you in the child's life, does this mean they have broken up, or are they planning on being together? I would be very wary of someone who refused DNA testing at birth, esp if she is no longer with your son. Your son is old enough to be in the Navy, so you have to let this go, and just help advise him how to take care of it, but he is grown, and you have to let him make his own way now. Sorry :(
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:41 PM on Dec. 4, 2013

  • Girlfriend support? WTF? You do know that's not a real thing, right? I think you need to stay out of it, let your son handle it, and pray that your son didn't knock this girl up so that you can at least know that you all won't be tied to this family forever.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:46 PM on Dec. 4, 2013

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