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I'm not even slightly considering a VBA2C but my family thinks I am.

I had to let that out but yeah my family is convinced that I should so I'm just going along with it to get them off my back. I'm not even pregnant yet but I'm just supposed to be planning it.

Honestly I'm one of those people who doesn't like to disappoint people and if it's anything like last time I told my Mom or any member of my Husband's family(I needed to set up childcare for my oldest last time) it will involve dirty looks,crying(It's what Mom did last time) and a lot of trying to talk me out of doing something they view as dangerous.

This mostly me just wanting to talk to someone other then my Husband but I'm planning to keep things to myself and then later on making up a reason on their mental approved list which does not include breech,questionable pelvic size or low lying placenta and schedule my c-section.

I'd talk to them but there is no winning or even let's agree to disagree and it will turn into a big fight about not doing what's best for the baby.

I thought I felt pressure to VBAC last time. I was being prepped for surgery last time and I had one of the nurses STILL repeatedly asking if I was really sure I didn't want to try longer after 9 hours of 0 descent and only 1/2cm change. 2 children under 7 lbs; 18 hours of labor walking the halls doing squats with the first one and the second one 9 hours without the epidural and when they went in surgically she was still up in my ribs.
I can take a hint that maybe they just aren't fitting and I don't want to repeat that ever again.

Anyway I think I've vented enough. Does anybody else have family quite this pushy about something THIS personal?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:44 AM on Dec. 5, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • Many doctors will not do natural if you have had 2 C sections so it might not even be a point.

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:34 AM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • No I don't have that... My family supports my decisions even if they don't agree. I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive of you. Personally I would tell them that it's not their choice and your delivering the baby the safest way for you! Bc your body won't allow you to deliver naturally! I would tell them back off but that's just me. Good luck hunny

    Answer by rachel216 at 6:22 AM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • Have you gone into labor on your own, or were your labors induced?

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:47 AM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • I'm that pushy in favor of VBAC, but I've also had 3 c-sections. Message me if you want to talk privately.

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 8:10 AM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • Just stop discussing it with them. It's none of their business anyway. If they push you for information tell them that you do not wish to discuss it and walk away...

    Answer by goldpandora at 8:20 AM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • VB should be done if there is no medical reason to have a c-section. I have a c-section my first. VB my second. I would take VB any day. Recovery time is quick.


    Answer by louise2 at 8:40 AM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • Why not just follow the advice of your dr? Since you aren't even pregnant, there's no reason to discuss it with your family.

    Answer by missanc at 8:44 AM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • Wait til you are pregnant. Since they all aren't cookie cutter events, you never know what's going to happen anyway. Since it would be your body, and you are the one who would have to endure a pregnancy and birth, it's not really their business how you choose to proceed.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 9:47 AM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • That nosy family of yours needs to butt out. Seriously. If it weren't for C-sections, emergency or planned, my husband (33) would not be alive today, nor would either of my children, OR me.

    Yes, it's a major abdominal surgery and all the risks that come with it. BUT, would your family rather have a live baby and mommy to dote over, or a funeral to go to?

    My son (10) was an emergency C-section. I had been in labor for 24+ hours, was not fully effaced, was not fully dilated, there was meconium in the water, HE was showing signs of distress at every contraction, and *I* was starting to spike a fever. I found out later that his head was bigger than my "bony structure" and there was NO WAY he was going to fit through me.

    My daughter (6 1/2) was a planned C-section. Good thing too. HER head was the same size as her brother's at birth.


    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:15 AM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • I'm now pregnant with #3, due in May, and have already been told by my OB that this will be another planned C-section. Because I've had two surgeries already, I don't get the option to try a VBA2C. And, quite honestly, I glad. I know which day my baby is going to be born. I don't have to go through weeks of wondering WHEN will baby get here already??!??! My husband knows exactly when to take leave too.

    Call me horrible for not wanting to go through the torture of labor, but I don't mind not having to go through that. Like I said, I was in labor for 24+ hours with my son. I dilated to 6cm at home and that was excruciating enough. While I'd like to be able to have a vaginal birth, it's not in my cards, and as long as my baby AND me are healthy, does it REALLY matter how baby came into this world? Not to me.

    PM me anytime if you want/need to talk.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:20 AM on Dec. 5, 2013

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