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i am a heartbroken grandma my 4yr old grandson told his parents i left him and his 2yr old sister alone in the yard and smoked on the side of the house

i have never smoked in or around their home or have ever left them alone . they live on the water. my son says his 4yr old doesn't lye and i am devestated since they are my only grandchildren

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lillian1918

Asked by lillian1918 at 8:26 PM on Dec. 5, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Are you joking? This sounds like a first grade argument. If you didn't do it, why the issue? Just chalk it up to a child telling fibs. His parents should understand that.... if not, then I think THAT is the real issue here.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 8:29 PM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • So your son believes his son over you?
    zboys

    Answer by zboys at 8:37 PM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • adult children can be hurtful. i am heart broken to. i posted last night in adult children, i am still very upset.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • You do smoke, but you never smoke when you're with the kids? I can see why your son could have a hard time assuming his child just made up those details randomly. Children "report" stuff! Perhaps the story rang true to your son and since they live on the water, the thought that you weren't right with the kids was frightening & infuriating to him.

    I suggest that you tell your son the truth either way (even if you did go around the corner to smoke outside), & honor your son's right to his feelings & his decision. Both are out of your control, distressing though they may be.

    Even if things don't go your way, you have the chance to respond with respect & acceptance. That's not nothing.

    Just honor the fact that he has some reason to think this did happen or at least could have happened, and accept that fact with dignity. The thing in your control is your response.

    I do totally see how upsetting this would be.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 8:58 PM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • that sucks!
    luvmygrandgirl

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 9:24 PM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • Don't worry, they'll NEED you soon enough. I'd say I was very hurt & to call you when they can apologize. So sorry for you :( Today people treat smokers like lepers. When I grew up my Parents smoked with the car windows up, I flew on planes in the smoking section at 7 years old, took trains that allowed smoking etc. I am still alive!
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:29 PM on Dec. 5, 2013


  • do everyone a favor and stop smoking completely and forever. That should end the issue.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 9:51 PM on Dec. 5, 2013

  • Outside should not be a problem the going to the side of the house may be. My parents smoke in there house all the time! One of my daughters is allergic to allergens in the cigarette smoke and gets sick. I have had her to the doctor/hospital a number of times before I had to stop sending my children to there house. I have asked them to not smoke inside but I can not make them stop in there own house. So I have to do what is best for my children! I am sorry for your misunderstanding with your family if that is what is going on! Best of luck!
    jem102675

    Answer by jem102675 at 12:48 PM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • I have four year old and I know that they can get confused... Maybe not lying, but confused and putting several facts together. Did you walk out of sight for a moment, so that he felt you were not there momentarily? Does he know you smoke? If so, couldn't he be putting these together? My kid has said all sorts of things that are mixed up with partial truths....if you were on the side of the house, how did the kid know you were smoking anyways... If he couldn't see you? Just a thought...
    Sp2014

    Answer by Sp2014 at 3:00 PM on Jan. 4, 2014

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