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Answers / Parenting / Preschoolers (3-4)

I Just Want To Give Up!

I am a single mom of a 4 y/o boy. Sometimes he is super sweet, but it's almost like he has a split personality. He has these terrifying fits. He will kick, scratch, bite, destroy things including his favorite books and toys. The worst part is he does this in public. He will even un buckle himself while I'm driving and pull my hair. I need serious help! His dad has never and probably will never be around to help. With him acting like this all the time, I know it will be a LONG time before I find a spouse willing to deal with us. Most nights end with him screaming until he passes out, and me crying myself to sleep out of sheer misery. I have tried all forms of discipline and nothing works. I ask my family for help, and all they say is to pray. I believe in God, but praying does not keep my kid from attacking me in the grocery store when I won't give in to his begging. I'm afraid of what he's turning into. HELP!

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MamaTina87

Asked by MamaTina87 at 9:43 PM on Dec. 6, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Get him THERAPY NOW! That is not normal behavior. You need to get him in and get him evaluated.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 9:49 PM on Dec. 6, 2013

  • My insurance won't cover a psych eval, and I can't afford to pay for it out of pocket. His last preschool had a therapist on site who said he may be bipolar. I don't want them to load him up with all the meds prescribed for bipolar.
    MamaTina87

    Comment by MamaTina87 (original poster) at 10:19 PM on Dec. 6, 2013

  • Have you discussed this with his doctor?
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:20 PM on Dec. 6, 2013

  • I've gotten no answers. His doctor says he's just being a toddler. I've been around A LOT of kids in my life, and I know this isn't normal toddler behavior. I'm worried about my own sanity, too. I can't handle this much longer. Tonight I was tempted to turn myself in to child services, because I feel like I'm not strong enough to be hos mother
    MamaTina87

    Comment by MamaTina87 (original poster) at 10:30 PM on Dec. 6, 2013

  • Do it through the school system. If he is bipolar he NEEDS to be treated for it. They will work with you, but nothing is going to get better if you don't get him help.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 10:54 PM on Dec. 6, 2013

  • Try to think of it from his view too. I bet he doesn't like being so very out of control and screaming. He needs help too, not just for your sanity.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 12:50 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • When he attacks you, focus on keeping yourself safe. This is important for you AND for him (he needs to be protected from the experience of having hurt someone.) Say you're keeping you both safe while he has big feelings & hold him so you're protected from kicking, hitting, scratching.
    Don't focus on trying to "stop" the big feelings, themselves. Don't treat them like they are wrong/need to be fixed or stopped, solved. (So don't try to "reason" with him or explain things when he's upset, as if doing so will "help" him not be upset anymore.)
    He's carrying a load of feelings that will "explode" any time they are triggered. That is not in itself a bad thing. (The only "negative" feeling is one that is unexpressed.) Think about it: the feelings (fear is a primary one) that trigger intense frustration, fury, rage are in him. Where are they going to go?
    Shifting how you respond will help the emotional process actually work.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 8:08 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • Get another doctor's opinion. Keep trying until you find someone who really cares and will help.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 8:13 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • You walk into an emergency room and tell them your child is attacking you and you cannot handle him. They will have to evaluate him and, if necessary, place him in a psyche ward for a day or two. Then you fill out the low income paperwork and you might not have to pay out of pocket. At the very least you can set up payment arrangement. Why on earth would you deny your child the help he desperately needs? Why deny yourself the help you need? Contact a state social worker.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:58 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • So he does this only when you will not give in to his wants?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:12 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

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Answers / Parenting / Preschoolers (3-4)

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