Tomorrow I am celebrating my sons 3rd birthday. Having a few close friends over, my mom, aunt, MIL and FIL, that's it. My mom is already upset that I am not inviting my sister, which blows my mind a bit after all that has happened.
Long story short, she is an alcoholic, has been for years. Everytime she gets in treatment I am there helping her whether it be with her kids, with transportation, with a place to stay... as much as I can while raising my own three boys, managing my home, marriage and a part time job. I have always been there to support her and encourage her when everyone else has given up.
Growing up she hated me (she is older). Not a day went by she didn't abuse me. Despite that I still try to be a good sister (it is just us). Believe me I have struggled with trying to keep an open heart to her, and there have been times I just took her out of my life for a bit because I couldn't deal with the stress and abuse from her.
This entire year she has been in treatment to stay out of jail from her second DUI. I have not been very kind as I know she needs tough love. Never given her money, etc but In situations when she has been in 'danger' in her random living situations, I have given her a place to stay. Not just to help her but to get a chance to reconnect hopefully now that she was sober. Plus her kids were taken from her and the only time I get to see them is if they spend the night here with me and she wants to see them too. I convinced my family she was ok and I knew she was on the right path. SHe did great all year and I really thought this was it.
Well not long after she graduated the program, I knew something was up. I had no proof, but I am so used to her behavior. She told me her roommates were psycho (always the same story) and I let her stay over. The next day she watched my kids so I could work for a couple hours, and then I took her home. I realized very quickly she wasn't acting right. When I got home, I checked and realized she had cleared out a bottle of wine and 2 beers from my fridge. I am not sure what she drank or took, but it was gone and she still denies it to this day, along with all the gossip and lies she told my next door neighbor while she was out side smoking. My neighbor felt so bad about the things my sister had said she felt it was only right to call and tell me. I confronted her and she sent me the most hurtful and accusatory texts for days. SHe still says she dumped it and that my neighbor made everything up. Too bad I know better.
I have just had it trying to be nice, trying to help, .. when it ends up like this every time. My husband forbids her from ever coming over. I really agree and I just don't want her in my life anymore cuz I cant stand the stress and lies anymore.
I am afraid my emotions are making the judgement for me to leave her out of tomorrows celebration. Honestly my son would not notice if she was here, my kids are actually afraid of her cuz she is so mean to them most the time when she is here... I just don't want to be around her at all. I know she is going to take it so hard, but maybe she needs to? She is so unstable already. I know she is drinking again, and my mother has taken her in... ug. It such a mess. I finally told my mom about what happened the last night she was here after a night she got drunk and caused a huge fight at my moms and then my mom found all her liquor gone as well. and she STILL keeps her there......
Am I right to stand my ground and not invite her? She texted me tonight asking and I don't even want to answer....
Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Dec. 6, 2013 in Relationships
Answer by gdiamante at 11:32 PM on Dec. 6, 2013
Answer by KTElite at 11:33 PM on Dec. 6, 2013
Answer by gdiamante at 12:00 AM on Dec. 7, 2013
Answer by staciandababy at 12:14 AM on Dec. 7, 2013
Answer by older at 7:24 AM on Dec. 7, 2013
Answer by silverthreads at 8:02 AM on Dec. 7, 2013
Answer by christina122952 at 8:04 AM on Dec. 7, 2013