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When do you tell your husband that you found naked photos of an ex (of his) in his email?

I was trying to look up my Facebook page on his computer, his page popped up, lots of people saying Happy B-day to him…when I started following a thread from an old g-trend….she said to use her email and then I HAD to start digging and am sick with what I found. I wasn't looking…. I don't know what to do….recently he's told me he is totally committed to me and the kids…. though in one of the emails dated when I was 6 month pregnant with our #2&3, he was inviting this woman to a location where he was to be working for 6 months…. that's what hurts the most….

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castingchick

Asked by castingchick at 11:42 PM on Dec. 6, 2013 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Sounds like you already had reason to mistrust him. COUNSELING. Immediately.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:55 PM on Dec. 6, 2013

  • I'm looking into that… he is still working on location. We were all together for Thanksgiving, and I knew then, we were never alone so that I could bring it up. We won't be face to face again for another 2 weeks, the Christmas family holiday… I'm torn b/c I want the kids to have a good holiday….though I'm sick with knowing what has happened and wondering if anything is happening now… what will I find out 3 years from now? During the holidays, when is the best time to confront someone about stuff you dug up…?
    castingchick

    Comment by castingchick (original poster) at 12:02 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • I would have said something as soon as I saw them. Better yet, show them to him yourself.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:02 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • I found out my now ex was having an affair 9 days before Christmas. I confronted him right away. After he made it clear he had no intention of trying to save the marriage, we decided to not tell the kids, and the rest of the family, until after Christmas. It was the most miserable Christmas ever.

    musicmaker

    Answer by musicmaker at 12:27 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • Call NOW.
    Then go get tested for STD's.
    Even if nothing happened, there was intent, and that is disrespectful. Why do you even want to keep a guy like that around?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:32 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • now and you should have kicked him to the curb.
    christina122952

    Answer by christina122952 at 8:03 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • I'd print them out, go to location, and right then and there demand he explain it.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:13 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • Do you think he is not having an affair with this woman?
    Is there even any doubt?

    Prepare yourself for a few possibilities
    He denies it all then mad at you for snooping and not trusting him
    He denies and tells you that you are crazy
    He denies and says all is fine, gives some excuses for the go conversation
    He admits, swears it meant nothing, will never happen again
    He admits, and leaves the marriage

    None are good, when I found something like this, I wrote a " if you love it set it free" letter to my husband and gave it to him on our anniversary, he was thrilled and told me all about his internet girlfriend, he left

    I had found him on dating site, made fake profile, and I was this Internet woman he left me for

    No way I could live with, let alone love, a man who has secret cheating life
    Life is wY too short

    Good luck, hugs...it just sucks anyway you look at it
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:36 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • Have you 100% found out he has cheated on you yet? As in had an affair? If he confesses he has. What are you going to do? Leave him or  torture your self and stay and hope he doesn't do it again?

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:00 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • I know I need to confront him - only I want to do it in person - we won't be in person until right before Christmas. When we parted after the Thanksgiving Holiday he said that he was committed to our family….the guys he work with tell me, unprompted, that all my husband talks about is his family. I come from a divorced family and I really don't want that for my kids - they are all still pretty young. I'm hoping we can get into counseling. This photo incident isn't the first time I've found that he's not been truthful….so do I wait until we're face to face?
    castingchick

    Comment by castingchick (original poster) at 11:34 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

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