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Spin off to my post about swearing & manners

Considering we live in the most profane & also one of the rudest states, it got me thinking. I was raised to show manners, as were my parents & I passed that along to my children as well. Obviously this isn't a common practice around here. Even my 11 y/o said everyone in her 6th grade class cusses. So do you think common decency is becoming a thing of the past? Am I fighting an uphill battle here? What do you think can be done to turn things around? (Like maybe finding more positive stories or examples of people being kind.)

 
mrsmom110

Asked by mrsmom110 at 10:54 AM on Dec. 7, 2013 in Just for Fun

Level 48 (281,323 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • I very rarely swear. We have 3 boys who are 22, 24 & 31. I know they swear occasionally, but they have discretion. They never swore around us. I had "Mom's Dirty Word Rule". If you say something dirty, you clean something dirty. It could be a floor, the toilet the shower, depended on how bad the word was (& what needed cleaned most).

    When our middle son was in 8th grade he was selected for a special mentor program. He got to have lunch w/a senator, meet judges & other important adults in the community & have some great adult mentor-.he also was expected to be a mentor to 'at risk' kids. When they teacher told me he'd been selected she said that he had good grades, but so did plenty of the other kids, she selected him for the opportunity because she knew he was polite, well spoken, didn't swear & would be a good respresentative of the school & that was hard to find.

    So, having good manners can give you more opportunities.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:05 PM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • My kids actually have great manners & I cuss like a sailor. I know a lot of kds that are respectful.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 11:09 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • While I don't necessarily think there is a correlation between cussing and decency, I get what you mean. While I can get down with some sailor talk, I don't want people that don't know me well or at all thinking that's how I present myself. I am usually less guarded around the people that know me best. I try to come up with creative and clean ways to express my frustration at times, but I do my best to not swear around my kids.


    As for teaching decency, it all depends on what you mean by that. The best way to teach them about being kind is by experience. Have your family volunteer to work at a soup kitchen or food pantry. Or go shopping for things that your local food bank is in need of, even if it's beans and rice. Some of the local charities ask for volunteers to wrap gifts that were donated for children. Or volunteer to spend time at a retirement home and read stories and play games with the residents.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:41 PM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • You know I used to be blown away by young people cussing...when my kids were young their friends used the word f...every other sentence, but otherwise well behaved and kind kids...they are just words, and we all know that action speak louder than words......eventually the word f...did not really cause any reaction, and they outgrew it.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:21 PM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • In some communities, decency includes a woman always wearing a wig or scarf covering her hair. Does that mean Jewish women who don't wear wigs or Mennonites who don't wear caps are indecent, along with all the other non-Jewish and non-Mennonite women who don't do it either?

    Decency has and always will be defined by society. Your personal definition may be becoming a thing of the past, the same happened to men who thought women who showed their ankles in Western Society were Jezebels.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 11:22 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • I don't believe that's true majority of people do curse and don't teach manners but I'm teaching both of my girls their manners and I made a vow before I had I first child that I would not curse ever because if she ever did hear it, it wouldn't be from me. And I make sure that my husband/father doesn't curse in front of them either.
    KColeman90

    Answer by KColeman90 at 11:43 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • My kids are both very decent and respectful but unfortunately they have my genes and cuss alot...but usually only at home. They know there are at home words and words they can use in public.
    GarysWife1991

    Answer by GarysWife1991 at 1:51 PM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • I think that by and large, most teenagers have a decent streak in them, and most old men still have it, or they return to it. Men in their middle years, not so much. And many women, forget about it. It's a big generalization, yes, but I find it to be true. If I'm out on the street and need assistance with shopping bags or opening a door, or if I need a seat on the bus, nine out of ten times, a teenage boy or an older gentleman will help me every time, politely and without being asked. A man in his middle years or a woman, not so much. It's hard to get them to stop at all. God bless the teenage boys and old men!
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:50 PM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • . If I'm out on the street and need assistance with shopping bags or opening a door, or if I need a seat on the bus, nine out of ten times, a teenage boy or an older gentleman will help me every time, politely and without being asked. A man in his middle years or a woman, not so much. It's hard to get them to stop at all.

    How odd, that's not been my experience at all. Of course, not all people look their age, either, so I wouldn't presume to know how old someone is at a glance.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:09 PM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • How do you know their ages Ballad?

    Well, I can't guess a person's age down to the year or anything, but I can tell roughly how old a person is by the way he or she sounds, the same as you can by looking at someone. It's not always dead-on accurate, of course, but generally a teenage kid sounds different than a man in his prime, and a man in his middle years sounds different than a geezer. Think about it. There's some overlap, but you can get a sense of it, a sort of rough estimation.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 7:17 PM on Dec. 7, 2013

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