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Jealous kids

My daughter is 2 and extremely jealous! She doesn't even like it when he sister sits on my lap. She pshyically push her sister out of my lap! She even gets this way with the dog. Is it normal to be this jealous?? She tells ppl all the time " NO MY MOMMY" I never went threw a jealous stage with my oldest.

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rachel216

Asked by rachel216 at 10:59 AM on Dec. 7, 2013 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 21 (11,479 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • She's competing for your attention. Quite normal. Make sure she gets plenty of your time & attention. But also reassure her when you are sharing your lap w/ a sibling or a pet that you still love her & that your lap has to take turns with others.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:08 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • It's not just sitting n my lap that was more of an example. Her and her sister play well together for the most part.
    rachel216

    Comment by rachel216 (original poster) at 11:12 AM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • Make sure she gets plenty of one on one time with each adult in the family. She'll get over this but it takes time. Very normal for some kids.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 4:31 PM on Dec. 7, 2013

  • Totally normal. I went through a REALLY annoying phase with my two where they argued over whose mommy I was. Trips anywhere were accompanied with "my mommy!" "No, my mommy! "MY MOMMY!" Then (inevitably) "mommy, she thinks you're only her mommy and not mine!" I am SO glad they stopped. So glad.
    preacherskid

    Answer by preacherskid at 7:49 AM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • Preacher that's exactly what my two are doing
    rachel216

    Comment by rachel216 (original poster) at 5:29 PM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • Some kids can be super-competitive.
    I think a lot of parenting is a matter of trying to respond to WHATEVER is happening in a way that helps, rather than deciding whether something or other is a problem or normal, if it "should" or "shouldn't" be happening.
    Something can be considered normal or typical, and still express the presence of "negative" underlying or causative issues. (i.e., it can reflect emotional issues or fear.) This can be the case with super-competitive behavior.
    I think the most helpful response for children is attuned responsiveness. If a parent can respond to a child in a well-attuned way (which means accurately understanding the behavior for what it means to the child, versus what feelings it triggers in the parent), there is more opportunity to move forward in a positive way.
    This might equal a focus on "translating" her feelings & acknowledging them, in response.
    "You want Mommy all to
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:14 PM on Dec. 21, 2013

  • yourself. It can be hard to share, can't it?"

    This has little to do with what "happens" in response. It's just about how you respond to the feelings her outbursts & body language express or imply. When you bring acceptance to the feelings, you are showing that how she feels makes sense. Even when you don't "do" anything in response to her feelings & demands (you "let" her sister cuddle too), you're showing that you can accept the fact that she HAS those feelings.
    This is a very constructive response that also goes a long way toward resolving those very feelings of urgency. (Much further than resistance & disapproval, or unacceptance, do!)

    Good rule of thumb is to think about being oriented toward understanding what might be going on for your child. Rather than judging the behaviors, words, or tones as "being" something (rude, disrespectful, defiant, jealous, competitive, selfish, etc.) Connecting helps solve issues.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:26 PM on Dec. 21, 2013

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