Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 15 yr old stepson bullies my 15 yr old son at school then is an angel at home. My husband only believes what he sees. Help

Answer Question
 
bettermom4u

Asked by bettermom4u at 11:29 PM on Feb. 19, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Jack his ass up when Dad isn't looking and let him know to leave your son alone or you will make his life a living hell. LITERALLY.
    No one has to know you did this either and if he tells DENY DENY DENY
    mommatime78

    Answer by mommatime78 at 11:31 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Talk to both of your kids together and see whats going on. I bet your son is all innocent! Please dont jack the step son up! I cant believe a adult would give you that advice!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • I mean isnt all innocent!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Get the school involved. Speak with some teachers and the principal of the school and let them know to watch out for the bullying. If they see bullying of any kind, let them know to stop it immediately and send letters home from school describing what happened. Hopefully your husband would believe the teachers. This is an unfortunate situation. When he married you, he technically "married" your son too. His unwillingness to be sensitive to your son's concerns must really hurt your son's feelings. Your husband needs to make an effort to treat BOTH boys as his sons and equally if he wants harmony in the home.  If it were me (and not that this is right), I would tell the step-son to knock it off because you can play the same games at home on him that he plays at school on your son. I have a little boy and the thought of him being bullied by anyone some day just makes me see red.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 11:38 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Obviously your husband lacks trust within you ....go to the school yourself....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • This is really tough. Siblings have trouble (hence, sibling rivalry), but step-siblings can be even more challenging. How long have your kids been steps? Bullying is not okay, at home or at school.
    Talk with your husband again. Both of you have the natural instinct to protect your own child, but if you can talk, you might both be able to see each other's point of view.

    Your husband needs to know that you understand that his son is just having difficulty adjusting to the new family arrangement, and that it to be expected. He should also know that you would not want anyone to bully his child at school, and the same stands for your own son.

    Ask your husband to help you help the boys to be happy. If his son is bullying at school, then something is going on with him.

    Good Luck.
    Angie Blackwell, The Parenting Coach
    familycoach4U

    Answer by familycoach4U at 3:17 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • have the school call your hubby next time it happens.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 9:39 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • this is a hard one being 15 is a hard age and all aren't innocent i would have a talk with your step son and son together and find out what the problem is between the two of them you never know your son could be the one starting the problems at school not saying he is but you and your husband aren't with them all the time and let them know that if this doesn't stop life is going to be awful boring come this summer take everything away from them
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • The exact same thing happened with my nephews....My step-nephew, D, was picking on my sister's son, G, at school. My sister was pissed!! Wanted her husband to get angry, to punish him, to tell him stop or else. I told my sister, G makes D's life HELL at home. He calls him names, makes him do everything, and then they hide the game controllers so D can't play with the game systems. G has the Power of my Sister at home to protect his mean ways. But D, he has the power at school. He is just getting G back for all the crap he does at home........ Are you sure that is not what is going on here?? Your boys need to be sat down and spoken to. You should assume BOTH are at fault. You might be surprised!!  I am not a step-mom. But I have known ALOT. And they all have one thing in common, MY CHILD IS NOT AT FAULT! ITS YOUR'S!!

    eluc

    Answer by eluc at 9:21 AM on Sep. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.