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How do I approach my husband for sex? adult content

Lol.. I didn't know how else to title it. I am not a total idiot I just need some bedroom advice.

13 years together, 3 kids, he works 2 jobs a work 1. We are busy people but we still seem to get sex in fairly often and we are pretty satisfied with our sex life in general. The only problem is, my husband is usually the only one to initiate it.

Why? Well, I have tried to figure out why I used to be able to play equal parts in this but now I just feel intimidated. Partly could be lack of self confidence in my physical appearance after 3 kids ( I now look like a 14 year old boy with absolutely no curves :( ) . I like sex a bit rougher than DH does. He likes to start out with more kissing and fore play (I know what woman complains about that?) when I would rather just tear clothes off and go at it on the kitchen floor or wherever. He is always worried about the kids waking up and seeing, and I get we cant be as spontaneous etc, but I get realllllly tired of going to the bedroom after a long day and starting out the same old ways. I dress up for him, we use toys sometimes and we can get really raunchy once we are into it, but the start up just is lacking.

I am NOT into stripping, I don't think either of us could keep a straight face and it just isn't my thing. We have kind of tried role playing but again, we both feel awkward.

Anyone have some ideas on how to come on to my husband that aren't going to read like a cheesy romance novel or self help book?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Dec. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Get rid of the kids for the night and meet him at the door in an apron That is it.
    A drink in hand is a nice touch.

    You can do the same with a stewardess outfit, ONLY the hat holding a cup of coffee.

    Try giving him a stimulating massage.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:50 AM on Dec. 9, 2013

  • there is NO WHERE for the kids to go over night. :(
    He does NOT like massage. Well, maybe in just one spot lol!

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:56 AM on Dec. 9, 2013

  • I had a hard time with this. I bought this silly little pair of "love dice" and stuck it in my boyfriend's Christmas stocking one year. We had the most fun with those things. They were at an adult novelty store, like a buck as an impulse at the checkout stand. (Send a private message to PartyGalAnne on here, she can probably fix you up.) One die has locations on it, like the floor, the bed, the couch, the kitchen table. The other has actions, like "kiss,:" "play," "get down," "snuggle," etc. We get stuc, we roll the dice. We have fun. You could even make some. The other thing we did was cut up slips of paper with fun stuff to try and put them in an old empty CD case to pull out when the nights got boring. Like "clothespins on nipples." "swats with a hairbrush." Just silly stuff. To see what it was like. Harmless, good clean fun. Hey, when you have kids you have to get creative. See what works. Good luck.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:08 PM on Dec. 9, 2013

  • The proper response Anon, would be "Thank you Dard for the advice, but that won't work for me"....

    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:09 PM on Dec. 9, 2013

  • I usually just sit in my husbands lap and start kissing him, sometimes we make it upstairs, sometimes not. Have you talked to him about what you want?
    But some of it may depend on your kids ages too. We don't have sex out of the bedroom when my older kids are home, but my 3 and 5 yo's we would hear well before they reached the stairs. Having to choose your locations for sex is just a side effect of being a parent!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:21 PM on Dec. 9, 2013

  • So put the kids to bed and meet him at the bedroom door.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:26 PM on Dec. 9, 2013

  • Your husband is less interested in how your body looks now that you've borne his children than he is in what you choose to do with your body to him. So step away from the mirror and put away your self-doubt and tell yourself that to him you look like a million bucks.

    If he likes a slow start-up, go with it. Maybe he likes a little bit of time to warm up his engine, so to speak. If you really want to just jump him, snag him in the morning before the day starts, before he has much of a chance to realize what has hit him, so to speak.

    I agree that right now, location spontaneity may not be possible. Location isn't everything. You have a man who loves you, who works hard to provide for you and the kids. Relax. You have a good man.
    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 12:50 PM on Dec. 9, 2013

  • So you miss the day where you could have sex all over the house? Before the kids? Welcome to parenthood!
    Only other place you could have sex is maybe the bathroom. Sneak in after he goes in lock the door and go at it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:41 PM on Dec. 9, 2013

  • you need to set some time aside for just you and him to do whatever you guys want!!!! even if its early in the morning before the kids wake and you go to work.
    alaynasmomma13

    Answer by alaynasmomma13 at 6:50 PM on Dec. 9, 2013

  • Look at the different sections of this website.  Down to earth, practical, advice for couples.  GL


    http://www.drlauraberman.com/about-dr-berman

    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:18 PM on Dec. 9, 2013

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