I'm reaching out to you to ask for you to help
Here's some background info. This guy is a guy I have known and worked with before. I was married at the time (I've been divorced almost 7 years) but it was strictly a professional relationship. Anyhow, we did exchange some stories about our lives, but did not cross any boundaries. He was also aware of how my divorce went down because it was apparent at work..such as me having to bring my son to work. So I felt him knowing this and remembering it...would be a reason that he would not mistreat me.
Anyhow, we started to reconnected last year. One piece of info that I did share with him when we reconnected because I was proud to accomplish it, was my celibacy. I was celibate for 5 years, going on 6. Of course he sounded impressed, saying it was commendable, etc. I never thought that maybe he would view that as a challenge. I was just sharing something (back then, very innocently) and now I know that was something he should've never known about.
So over the course of the year, (this is long distance by the way), we are texting and calling each other. Later on in the year, we started to FaceTime. Although at times his communication was inconsistent. In the beginning there were times I did not hear from him for like 3-5 days in a row. Then I'd have to reach out to him. He would say things like, "I know I haven't been doing well and I promise I will.." "I know I said I will do better and I will." I just thought it could've been his work schedule since he works two jobs and has joint custody of his kids. O_o He'd also say stuff like, "I know it seems like I'm being distant, but I don't mean to be." So at the time, I'm kind of giving him the benefit of the doubt. Not that I expected him to not be talking to anyone else, but I did expect him to be genuine.
He has shared with me things going on in his life, such as things his kids have been doing and what he has been up to. Then a little time passed and we started getting sweet with each other. You know and things like this started coming from him, "Whatever happens, I won't play with your heart and mind." "If I can't be there for you physically, I can be there for you emotionally and mentally." Just to name a few. Of course, I believed it. Well I started getting emotionally attached and booked a flight to go back to the state. I also have a spiritual family there, so he was not the only reason why I was going there. Things changed at work so I had to reschedule my flight. After I called him and told him, he did respond and told me that he got my message and would call me. The thing about when we did communicate though was that he almost always responded in a timely manner. Texts usually within 5 minutes and missed phone calls within hours (if missed) and a lot of times when I did call, he'd answer. If he did miss a call or didn't respond to a text for a long time, he would tell me why. We even had a convo where we'd try better in calling each other more frequently.
Well after I told him that I had to reschedule my flight because of work, and he said he'd call me the morning after, he actually didn't. I let it go. A week passed after not hearing from him and by that time I started feeling like ****. But then I would get a text message from him, letting me know he is thinking about me, then I'd text back but he did not respond. Almost 1 month passed where I didn't hear from him! And when I did, it was through a comment he made on my FB profile. It was then he wanted to talk...guess he knew he was in the wrong. At that time I told him that in my life, (I also hae 2 kids, ages 6 and 8...he has 3 kids who are teens, I'm 32 he is 41) In my life I am looking for something serious, beautiful and profound...looking to build something with someone, looking for something permanent and everlasting--not temporary. In sum, I wanted to be married. I thought that would send him away, but he did respond and told me he understands where I'm coming from and that we'd talk (he was working at the time). So I called to follow up and it seemed like always a bad time to talk. And I think I was also scared of what our conversation would entail. So we never actually got to talk about it. But at that time, it seemed like he was a little scared to lose me.
So we continue calling, texting, facetiming. And we did start taking it to a different level through those means of communication. So we finally see each other after a very long time. We meet. I stayed there for a little over 2 weeks but we only saw each other 2 times! This was in the summer and in the same time his 2 younger children were starting school. The mother of his kids also went out of town during the second week. But his kids are teenagers so I always wondered why they couldn't be left alone since they are able to take care of themselves. They don't have any physical or mental disabilities as far as I know of. I didn't seem him almost the entire first week I was there because i
Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:47 PM on Dec. 9, 2013
Answer by QuinnMae at 11:48 PM on Dec. 9, 2013
Answer by Crafty26 at 11:49 PM on Dec. 9, 2013
Answer by m-avi at 11:50 PM on Dec. 9, 2013