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Looking for a third partys point of view.

Hello:

My husband and I haven't spoken in 2 weeks. We are usually very close with one another,consider each other to be our best friends. But this is argument that I can't let go.

I do everything for my husband.. We both work full time, and we are both full time parents. But for some reason my husband thinks I must do everything for him.. such as cook, dish out his food and everything in between.

The argument happened, cause I asked him to make some tea for me. He turned around, and said, I guess, maybe next time I can make your coffee to? How about I dish out your food while I am at it... While his lecturing me his literally making the tea. I walked up, and took the pot and drained it down the dishwasher. I was not going to put up with that.. Why would he just lecture me, while making tea for me.. I do everything for my husband and I surely didn't deserve this.

So, please tell me if I am wrong, or your thoughts

 
tsingh

Asked by tsingh at 12:39 AM on Dec. 11, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (10 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • A "best friend" does not treat you like that. He sounds like an ass.
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 12:41 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Stop doing for him. He meeds to "do" for himself. If he's incapable, then he should NOT be married because he's not old enough.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:02 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Why would you pour tea in the dishwasher? Sounds like more work for you.

    Make yourself a frozen one serving meal for dinner and eat it in bed.

    He sounds like a lazy asshole.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:08 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Does he always treat you with such disrespect? Does he always expect you to do everything for him while he does nothing for you in return? That's not how a relationship is supposed to work, at least not a healthy relationship in traditional American culture.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:39 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • I think pouring the tea out was a rather childish way to deal with things, yes. However, I don't think his behavior was acceptable, either. Stop doing for him. You're not his slave, you're his wife. Let him be an adult who serves himself, and start assigning him a night or two to cook dinner. If he continues to treat you like this, then maybe you should get into counseling.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:49 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • You should call a lawyer over this tea incident.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:46 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Its not about the "tea". A marriage should be a give and take. Not just a take and take. I do everything for him.. And one time I asked him to do something he decided he going to be a smart pass. I don't understand it.
    tsingh

    Comment by tsingh (original poster) at 12:50 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Sorry error on my last message. Meant to say, he decided to be a smart ass... I just don't understand why he can't see what he did was wrong. He shouldn't always take. A marriage is a two way street..
    tsingh

    Comment by tsingh (original poster) at 12:53 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • His so cable of doing everything for himself, but doesn't. He is a mama's boy. His mom use to do everything for him prior to our marriage.But he knew that wouldn't work with me. As a wife I no it's my duty to some things and it's his job to do others.. But he literally acts like a "special" child when it comes to house related chorus..

    I don't think I did anything wrong. The fact he acts like he is right is pissing me off even more. He is an ASSHOLE right about now.
    tsingh

    Comment by tsingh (original poster) at 1:19 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Not talking and communicating is a self fulfilling prophesy. Where do you want your marriage to go? If you want a man that is willing to give and not because it's score keeping or obligation, but because he WANTS to then you need to tell him that.


    Honestly, the silent treatment seems pretty dysfunctional. At this point I would suggest finding a marriage counselor to help you communicate effectively and in particular, CAREFULLY. It's easy to say things you don't mean when tempers flare, and while you can apologize for saying something hurtful, people always remember the way you made them feel. Learn how to communicate effectively and then see where things go.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:53 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

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