Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Baby mama drama...

Hi, I've been dating my fiancé for about 2 years now... We've overcome a lot and gotten through a lot of circumstances and obsticles, along with a miscarriage and other many things, including his ex.. When we first met, she came to me about how he loves her and all this bs about how I'm with someone who Doesn't love me... Even messaging me, saying that he was at her place that night when he was clearly in my bed. She has tried to break us up but it never worked. Then, she suddenly calls out of the blue saying she needs help with their 2 girls whoe fiancé was at work.. So, I got her to drop them off with me and they stayed with me til my fiancé got into town.. It was the first time, we actually met and she was dropping her girls off with someone she didn't even know personally(me), I felt weird but I did do my duty and take care of the girls, which was awesome... We loved their company a lot! They go home then she starts up again, trying to be shady and numerous childish things.. Then, she went inti rehab, as she says.. So we had one of the girls for 6 months...meanwhile I just had our son and with my son too.. Hubby worked so I took care of all our kids, where most moms got used to 1 extra baby, I got used to 2 and my oldest son whose 4. I did everything and I felt very accomplished. Well, our son is 11 months and we send the girls gifts and she answers the phone and starts being a bitch.. I ignored it cuz hubby just wants his girls... The girls are always ditched with parents or babysitters... It's bullshit. She does not take care of the girls and basically keeps them with her parents... So we always go through them cause she is a druggie.. Anyways, I tell hubby I don't feel comfortable with her at all.. Cause of past stuff... I'll get over it but I feel as if I deserves some kind of respect to my relationship,which isn't hers anymore... We have an awesome relationship and since she was trying to ruin our relationship before, I'm afraid of that happening once again.. I put our differences aside for our daughters but I still can't trust her set all. They have girls that are being raised by grandparents so we go through them, but when she came in that one time, it made me think of the things she's once tried to pull. I just don't know how to get along with this girl... Idk how to get over this...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Dec. 11, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • is mother on drugs now?
    if so why do you not call CPS then go to court for custody

    confused, if she was in rehab for drugs for 6 months, why did husband not go to court for his kids?

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:50 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • . Then, she went inti rehab, as she says.. So we had one of the girls for 6 months...

    Where did the other girl go?

    In short, you can't get along with her.  She's an addict.  You didn't start out with a friendship.  You may be who she blames when crap goes wrong, because addicts are never accountable for their decisions.  If she isn't clean, then she's probably blaming you.  She dropped the girls with you because she knows that you will take care of them.  Not because she likes you.  You were convenient.  She probably didn't want her parents knowing she wasn't taking care of the kids.  

    If you and your fiance are so worried about the kids, then he should file for custody.  


    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:59 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Call CPS on her drug use and file for custody of the girls.

    Answer by jenny3344 at 10:15 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • I would try to get custody of the children & get a restraining order against her. I wouldn't want to even look at her face ever again. She's a skid drug addict.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:54 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • I agree with all the others.... Also want to point out that its pretty cool to see a "step-mom" post on here saying that they love the kids and call them their own.... don't see that enough.

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 11:30 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

    That is how you deal.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:16 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Why didn't your SO try to get custody of the girls if she is a druggy.    You do not deal with her. He does.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:56 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • The other girl was with her grandparents, that's who raise her. I'm the step mom, I've tried getting him to get the girls through courts but he wont but he also knows that they are safe with the grandparents, he pays child support but rarely gets to see them(they live 10 hours or more away), I talked to him about it but nothing happens tho, I just quit trying and let them do what they do.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:04 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

  • & believe me, it's hard not seeing them myself. It sucks not knowing where they are or if there okay... I worry for them too but they're the parents, I can't do anything about it but I've tried. I just hope in the future, things come together

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:07 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.