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When invited to someone else's house, is it rude to invite other people's kids over without asking?

so my neighbor (not the one i always complain about, a different one) she has 3 kids all around the same ages as my 3. we live right next door to one another. she doesnt have many things for her kids to play with outside (and not from lack of funds, more like laziness, infact she hardly ever brings them outside at all) so usually when we're all outside i don't mind if HER kids play with my kids' outdoor toys, like the bikes, scooters, chalk, and the swingset in the backyard, etc.

well the past few times we've been out, she's had her oldest daughter run down the street to invite her friend over. when we're out front playing i dont mind as much because everyone is just sort of running around. her kid's friend does take my kids bike out and she's WAY too big for it but i try not to let it bother me.

the other day though, we were in the backyard (no fence yet but were getting one next week- YAY!) playing on the swingset and she heard us out there so she texted me and asked how long we'd be out. a few minutes later her kids came to the swingset but the oldest one had TWO friends with her. i'm like WTF? and my oldest already had another friend on the swingset. so i told them that my oldest could only have one friend over, so the neighbor's oldest's friends had to leave. she went and told her mom who was walking to the backyard with her chair, and she had this stank look on her face like *i* was in the wrong.

okay, my swingset isn't a public playground that's durable for 20 kids to play on it. infact i ran over the anchors with the lawn mower so it barely withstands the weight of my own 3 kids. i dont care if we're outside, it's MY swingset and she should ask before she assumes it's okay if two other kids that i don't even know can play on it, don't you think? or am i being crazy and possessive?


Asked by tnm786 at 11:03 AM on Dec. 11, 2013 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • To add to that short and sweet answer, she is not legally responsible for the other two kids. If they get hurt on your swing set, who do you think their parents are going to go after? I'm glad you are getting a fence, as something like that could be considered an attractive nuisance and even if they were to play on it and get hurt while you were away from the house, you would still be liable.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:11 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • I'm with QuinnMae, aside from being rude, to invite extra kids, you are responsible for kids playing in your yard, she's not.

    I'm glad you're getting a fence as well. It's not your job to provide a playground for other people's kids.

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:18 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Use the fence to turn over a new leaf. Change the rules. If they want to play,they need to bring their own stuff. No one is allowed over without permission,and no extras are to be let over.
    You have WAY more patience than I do,I'll give you that

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:31 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Yes.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:07 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • I would think that was a little rude of her.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:23 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Yes & I would tell her that you are not comfortable entertaining kids you don't know in your back yard because ultimately you are responsible if someone gets hurt. If she wants to invite the neighborhood over then let her plant her lawn chair on her front lawn & be the monitor of the kids.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:26 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • We have this issue too
    And where are the parents when you are babysitting their kids for free
    At least an adult could come over, keep you company and help watch the kids

    I once had 14! In my yard while the neighbors had their wine Wednesday
    All the adults two doors down drinking wine ans I had 14 in my yard
    After that, I are sure I took my daughter to the park on Wednesdays
    They could have sent over ONE adult to help watch the hordes of children
    Nope, just the fancy neighbors to drink wine and eat

    Some people feel they are entitled

    Yay fence!

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:45 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Very rude. I don't put up with that kind of thing, either. If I invite a kid over, I make clear that I am inviting that kid over - not that kid and 4,000 of his closest friends. If they bring extra kids, I just tell them sorry, but they have to go home - including the kid I invited, most of the time.

    I would never presume to just send other kids over with mine if they were invited somewhere. If something had suddenly changed (we had plans and I was suddenly babysitting, for example), I would explain the situation and ask if they want to reschedule. Then they can invite the other kids to come with, if they want to, or we simply reschedule our plans.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:54 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • i thought so, lol. what is wrong with people today?

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 11:08 AM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • very true, the fence is so long overdue.

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 11:12 AM on Dec. 11, 2013