So this afternoon my 3 year old and I walked up to my 4 year old's school to pick her up. Normally we drive but it's very close and today is nice out so we just walked up there. On the way back, she said (and I didn't prompt her at all, we hadn't talked about him today or anything) "I don't want to go to daddy's."
She just went this weekend, and won't have to go again until the 22nd. So i asked her why and she said because he's always mad at her....
I will admit that she is definitely a handful and she will test the hell out of you. I'm often "mad" at her myself because she NEVER listens. She does what she wants. But I know how HE is when he's mad, and he used to get upset just in the short hour he visited them before the court order changed and they had to start going to his house every other weekend. When he's mad he makes everyone miserable. He's intimidating to be honest. I wouldn't want to be around him either when he's mad.
So i asked her if he hits her when she gets in trouble, SHE said yes, on the butt, but my 4 year old was listening in and said no, he doesn't hit them. But my 4 year old DID say that he does get mad at my 3 year old alot. he only sees them 4 days a month, and he's stretched so thin he can't even keep his fucking temper in check those 4 days?
idk... i know kids say things that might not be true, or their own perception of the truth. but i believe her because ive seen him get pissy around them before. i dont want my babies to be uncomfortable or scared, and lately they get very quiet and my 4 year old even cries when it's time to go over there. my 3 year old then proceeded to say that she wishes she could stay with me forever and not have to go back :(
besides documenting and comforting/supporting her, is there anything i really can do in this situation? i dont think mentioning it to him is wise either, given his short fuse.
Answer by Ballad at 1:20 PM on Dec. 11, 2013
Answer by AdensMama0308 at 1:21 PM on Dec. 11, 2013
Answer by AdensMama0308 at 1:23 PM on Dec. 11, 2013
Answer by saphire_eyes802 at 1:47 PM on Dec. 11, 2013
Answer by PartyGalAnne at 3:26 PM on Dec. 11, 2013
Documenting things never hurts. However, if you plan to use something like this to impact his visitation, I would highly recommend getting the kids into counseling. Many courts will not listen to hearsay, but documentation and her talking to a therapist about it will allow the courts to petition her to testify if needed. I have a good friend that's ex was doing horrible things and even if she told the attorney and the therapist, they both said it had to come from her DD and with her out of the room. She told the therapist and it went on record, but it was never really used against him for changing his visitation. He simply had more money to fight than she did. He was putting one of her girls in the closet for time outs, and he burned her butt with a blow dryer (the metal grill thing where the hot air blows out, it like branded her butt with those grill marks). The therapist called him and he denied it.
Answer by QuinnMae at 6:40 PM on Dec. 11, 2013
Answer by sunnysideup89 at 9:54 PM on Dec. 11, 2013
Answer by gdiamante at 11:07 PM on Dec. 11, 2013
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