Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

should i go to birthday?

I've been in a long term relationship with my bf and we have been living together for 2 years. His nieces birthday is coming up and I've been uncomfortable to attend because I haven't received an invite however my bf feels that it makes no difference because we count as one. He was at his mums whilst discussing this over the phone to me (how wise) when his mother overheard and lost her temper resulting in shouting in the background that I am no longer invited. (Um I didn't get an invitation in the first place)My question is; am I right to expect an invite in the first place or am I to blame here for causing unnecesary drama

Answer Question
 
selina884

Asked by selina884 at 4:41 PM on Dec. 11, 2013 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • If you are living together or you are in a relationship that it is pretty clear you will be engaged in the relatively near future (a year or so)
    Then there is no need to give you a special invitation. You are considered a couple.
    I think you have caused drama where there need not have been any BUT you are the best jusdge of this relationship. I am not there and have no clue about your standing or your standing in his family.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:48 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • If you two are serious, his response should be "she comes with me, or I don't come at all."
    My in-laws tried to pull that crap even after we were married for 3 years.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 4:54 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Dardella - appreciate the honesty
    I have had my ups and downs with his mother and sister and generally dislike how they make and break rules as they go along. One minute you are apart of family yet another time you are not allowed to give your input on certain things because you are an outsider. I've also seen how they treat all non blood rated family members and its rather abnormal to me.
    selina884

    Comment by selina884 (original poster) at 4:58 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Partygalanne - he's saying that I'm behaving weird and wrong and shouldn't treat his niece like this. His grandad passed away a few weeks ago therefore his mum said she's in mourning and peiple should be seeing how she is instead of expecting invites. Point is - shes speaking for her daughter which makes it even more difficult. Her daughter can quite easily send a quick text asking to come .
    selina884

    Comment by selina884 (original poster) at 5:04 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • How is it his MOTHERS responsibility to invite guests to his niece's party?
    His sis/bro should be handling this, correct?
    And stop making excuses. You are a couple and should be treated as such.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 5:47 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • You are dating. Why would you need a formal invite? It's pretty much a given that you'll be there. Did you go to his Grandad's funeral? I hope so.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 5:56 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • You are making too much out of this. You guys have been together long enough, you don't get a special invite. If he is invited, you are invited.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 6:20 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • I would assume that if you live together you are invited, you are acting weird about it, for goodness sakes buy the kid a gift and get your panites out of their bunch.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 6:23 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Go and have fun.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:25 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.