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Move back to New Jersey

So I have been living in north Carolina for years now but I recently lost my job and I still live at home with my parents. I have a 5 year old and I am considering moving back to New Jersey where I was born and raised. I have family there but it's dangerous in Newark. My daughter father lives there too. He don't help now but maybe that will change if we live in the same state. So my dilemma is do I stay here in north Carolina where I have no family but my parents who don't help with my daughter at all. They won't even fix her a bowl of cereal if I'm sleep or in the shower or something. My mother wanted me to get an abortion and she doesn't act like a grand mother at all. I appreciate them letting us live here all this time but the way they treat my child is sad. Plus they want me out. So, would you go back to a city where the crime rate is ridiculous but you would have more support and help with your child? I would be leaving here unstable and going up there with no money or job. Of course I would have to find one but I'm scared.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on Dec. 11, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • If it was my situation and my parents were providing shelter for myself and my child, I would stay.

    Moving there with no money will not bring money to you, and if your child's father is not helping now he will not help cause you live closer.

    Contact your local Dept of Social Services to find out about job training programs, so you can get better skilled, go back to school, than eventually build a better life for yourself and child.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:38 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Newark NJ! Hell no. There are several towns near Newark that would be much better.

    Answer by DJDNY at 6:39 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Stay where you are. NOOOO to Newark & if the Dad isn't helping now, he won't ever!

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 6:40 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Yeah I hate it back home. When I visit I never want to leave the house. All of Jersey isn't bad but the nicer parts are more expensive. So I would have to live in Newark until I can find work and then move to another city. I know for a fact I have more help there. My father side and mother side of the family lives in Jersey and my daughter father and his family. I know he probably won't help financially but I'm about to put his ass back on child support. I was hoping he would help more with her day to day. They don't really have a relationship now because he barely visits her. I have driven up there more than he has been down here.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:51 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Aside from a pair of jerk parents, is there anything worthwhile in your current location? If so,. get job training,. move out of your parents' home but stay in the area IF you find a job.

    If not… find ANOTHER choice. The USA has LOTS of places to live. It needn't be Newark or North Carolina.

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:58 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • The only reason I said Newark new jersey is because that's where I'm from and where family is. Trust me I was happy to lend there 8 years ago and had no plan on returning. But given the circumstances I feel conflicted now. I pray something comes through. If I can get ag good job here I will just stay and get me an place. If not I may have to move back up north

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:12 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Never EVER make a major move without a job. Ever.

    Please keep in mind that moving geographically does not eliminate your problems. You'll take those wherever you go. You need to deal with your challenges now and THEN move if you desire to do so. Running never works.

    Answer by Brawn at 7:51 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Okay Brawn that makes sense. I need to find a job somewhere though and fast

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:16 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • I would not go to a place that has a lot of crime to raise a child. Support or not. I would do anything I had to to make sure my kids are as safe as I can. If that means I suffer a little, then so be it. They didn't choose to come into this world. I brought them here and they are my responsibility.
    I'm sorry your parents are very helpful or supportive. Maybe try to get out and meet other parents with kids the same age as yours. Maybe finding an emotional supportive network of people will help you find your way to a better life for you and your child.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:00 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

  • Are NOT very helpful. Sorry I forgot to type that very important word.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:02 PM on Dec. 11, 2013

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