Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Super overwhelmed, just need to vent

For the past year, I've been living with my bf and his parents which include, his older sister and brother and their kids. I've been waiting for housing to kick in for us to get ur own place while my family has been living 2-3 hours away, I have no family here. My I laws are not the most welcoming family, when I first had our son, they were really hard on me about house work, but my son was so small at the time and I put my son first every chance I got.. Fast forward to now, I still have issues with how his parents are towards me, they manipulate and are very negative towards me and my son(I have a son from a previous relationship), I will do laundry and they will say I'm the middle of my loads being done that They need to washing machine so I give it since it's there's, and laundry will pile up.. Every time i try to do our laundry, someone has it or there's Always a load in it, or something's always happening,,,& that's just the washer & dryer.. There's more issues.. also, I simply cannot do anything without someone being a critic, I've been feeling very unloved, unwanted and like a burden for many months and nothings changed. With the holidays coming up, I cannot help but feel like I should be with my family(it's been 2 years), and I miss them terribly, we made plans to go there for Christmas but the plans fell through... So now, I'm in this house with people who really are Scrooges around thisti me of year, feeling as if I'm on pins and needles cause I feel as if I'm making up excuses for how the laundry isn't being done but it's a real problem.. I have to get up at 6am while being a sahm to my sons, just to get the washer,, usually my boys don't sleep until atleast 12-1:30 so I've been working extra hard on getting them on a schedule to work around my schedule better but it isn't that easy.. Especially living around other peoples schedules.. My family is very supportive of my desicioms, always been there and this is the first time I feel this way... I feel so awful about myself and I hate how I've been living.. I'm not happy... And my hubby who usually isn't so ignorant has been lately due to stress and holidays approaching... Just feel like leaving home but not sure if that's the right thing... Also, I feel maybe this is my path in life right now... But idk how to break this broken routine... I'm usually very positive, happy and smiley,,, but it's all come to a hold since I've moved in this place.. I'm not me and I feel like I could be a bit depressed too...it's hard finding someone to talk too that won't judge me, a And my family isn't always around. Idk how to make my life happier,,,, idk if this is fair to me anymore.. Or my sons..

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Dec. 12, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • Honestly... I would pack up my kids and my things and move into my parents house. Your husband will either come and be with you there or tell his family to stop being assholes. I would do it today too. Call your parents and ask if they can come pick you up.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:10 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

  • I cannot count on my hands how many times my hubby or his family has made me feel stupid, bad or just plain crazy.And now that I've been missing my family I even more,I just gotten to the point where I don't even want to leave my bed.Everyone and everything in this house is just so bad, I have thought about going to visit family but we have no car ATM and every time it tell hubby that I miss my family, he always says it's an excuse or doesn't even care He don't know how I feel or why I'm not keeping up with everything.i usually get the dishes going,and make a good routine but now my whole life has revolved around my hubby and his family.It's not making me happy when I have to make them happy and there not making me happy at all.My family also doesn't have much room for all 3 of us so I don't want to be a burden on them either,I just feel as if i have no where to go. I just hate my life and the people in it aren't so nice eithe
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:15 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

  • If your family knew your situation, they would let you move in... mine would. I say call your mom and tell her what is going on. You need to get out of that situation. It is just bad all around.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:18 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

  • Yeah, I tell them some things but not detailed or in a story line... My mom would want me there if she knew the whole story.. I've been in abusive relationships before and he wasn't like this before... But now I know where he got it from.. I feel as if I'm being mentally abused by his whole family, and now by him, in the past month or so.. He hasn't been the same, and it's making me feel really awkward being here.. It's like staying some place where you know your not wanted.. I'll get a hold of my family tonight and see what they say about this, cause idk what else to do.,, I've tried everything to be happy and it's just not working
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:30 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

  • First you say boyfriend then you say hubby? Are you married or not?
    Move out. That is all their to it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:38 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

  • Have your family pick you up & take you back to their home with the kids or take a bus there. 2 1/2 hours is not that far away. Stay there when you get there. If your Mom can watch the kids during the day for you, you can get a job & have your own money too. What does this guy have to offer you? No car, no home....?
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:45 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

  • I have talked to my mom just now before work and I'm going to be heading there ASAP. I can't deal with rude people anymore, I rather get a place with my mom and be happy, if hubby don't like it, he can stay with his parents,, he will be working out of town all month anyways so not like I'd be missing anything or losing out on anything.. We've been trying to save up for a place but his parents are always raising our rent and getting us to pay their bills for them. We pay half of everything and without us, they wouldn't be able to afford this place.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:58 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

  • I'm going to kind of take the other side here.

    Can you imagine the stress of having 2 adult children with their families living in your home? The extra expense? It's not bad when they are there visiting for a couple of weeks, but to have someone there all the time even when you love them is difficult. If it's your washer and dryer, it's nice to be able to use it when you want to, and if you like to do things a certain way and it's your home, it can be frustrating to not have things that way.

    If his family was kind enough to let you live with them with your children, they must care about you, but living with any extra adults at any time can be very challenging. It sounds like you do your best to be considerate, and I don't think I would take it personally, but I think that you will find that even with your own parents, eventually it will wear on them to have so many extra people in the home, & his family also has extras.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:09 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

  • You reposted before I finished typing, so I see that you are paying at least your share.

    Good luck. Hope you guys are able to get your own place soon.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:10 AM on Dec. 12, 2013

  • Yeah, they have their adult kids already living with them, we stayed a year to get back on our feet after a financial fall when baby was born and we do pay half of all expenses, the adult kids live here for free but I understand we have an extra child more then them and that's an extra mouth to feed but we buy all the food that everyone eats. They can't afford for us to move out, that's why they have kept us here with raising the rent each time we would find a place, or if a bill we don't even use becomes high, they will expect us to pay it.. We get the blame for everything. I just think it's really time to put ourselves first before there needs(of us giving them money, the dad don't work and the wife works out in camps) so since the dad is home, he can't afford to sit on his butt if we leave, he says he pays the bills but we do.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:17 PM on Dec. 12, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN