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Update on should you tell the school off? What do you think of this?

I wrote about my daughter in a previous post. She was given detention for listening to music in a computer class. In turns out the vice principal was made to apologize. The sub allowed all the children in the class to listen to music. It is allowed, there is no ban on music if the work is done. Although, I would agree a ban on music should be made with school computers. They were listening to Mozart by the way. I do think it doesn't matter. My daughter is in the band and they were looking up some music they were going to be playing after the holiday break. However, it turns out the vice principal did not listen to the sub as the sub tried to explain and he zeroed in on my daughter. We don't know why exactly but the V.P. did say he was tired of "kids like her" getting away with things. He did not actually apologize even though he was supposed to. My daughter has never been in trouble and is quite shy. He did not comply with the rules for pick up. They know I am a trauma nurse and it says very clearly to have my back ups called first. They were available. As it turns out...the school was empty even of janitors. There was a program and the entire school staff was asked to show support that Thursday evening. The program was held at a local college.

The principal has asked me to not say anything to the superintendent and let it drop. Would you? I am still not sure about what the V.P. meant. My daughter is very shy, has a stutter, is a recognized good kid. This makes no sense to me. She is afraid of her own shadow so it really is just odd that he somehow thinks she is this thug teen.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Dec. 14, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Smacks of cover-up. I'd have already called the superintendent.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:18 PM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • Thanks. I am not one to go and "tell off the school." At first I thought no kid should really be listening to music. Even my kid. I just don't agree with it because there are some kids who will take it too far and listen to inappropriate music. But the reason why it was not banned or blocked from the site was because it was in a section of classical composers. But there were kids listening to other music. My daughter has anxiety so she could not explain it well to the vice principal. She freezes and stutters worse. He took this as she was being defiant by not answering. She froze. I can see why he may have thought that. I might if I did not live with her. The principal is bending over backwards to try and make this okay for her. I honestly do not want to be the bitch parent who makes a stink. I even hesitated to confront them the first time but something was off. I am thinking of calling and still reporting it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:22 PM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • Hope you didn't agree to not talk to the superintendent? Something shady is going on there

    Answer by louise2 at 12:50 PM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • I will go but be polite and professional. Just to say I have concerns about leaving students alone on campus. Even if a janitor had been present I still disagree they are suitable. It just isn't their job. But that isn't the point because no janitors were there. The school was just closed. I will not make a huge deal about the music but point out this all could have been avoided if the vice principal could have listened to the substitute and not tried to grill my daughter. No child should be interrogated. It isn't about her anxiety and freezing. I just don't think any child should be treated so poorly regardless of what went on. I will also point out safety protocol was not followed in her given situation. I am not sure why but I would like it to be addressed so it does not happen again to any parent and student. Surely I am not the only one with unusual shifts and as part of the job can't be called directly.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:59 PM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • I makes no sense that even the janitors would be asked to go to a production of some kind at another school and ignore their jobs, but that's the minor issue here.

    The fact that that VP is asking you to say nothing is a HUGE red flag to me. He's trying to cover his ass and not get in trouble. I'd be talking to the superintendent about ALL of this, IMMEDIATELY.

    Parts of your story still don't make a lot of sense, but you DO have a responsibility to stand up for, and protect your daughter against ALL bullies at school.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:23 PM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • Just the very fact that you were asked not to go to the board/superintendent throws up flags. Makes me think that there have been other complaints about this person and he doesn't want more. I would call them.

    I have to agree with Rose ... I don't get that there was absolutely no one else, not even the janitors there.

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 8:38 AM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • I'd call them. He's just trying to save his butt from something.

    Answer by jenny3344 at 10:10 AM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • Just as an update, the school does close in our district. And other surrounding districts. Frequently. E-mails are given to staff but not parents. It says we will lock up and close the school by X so please be out the building by X time. As a standard rule the building is closed by seven unless there is a school event. This is to save money.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:02 PM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • I'd talk to the Superintendent anyway. Even though she is a high school student, she should not have been left all alone. She rides the bus because it is too far to walk home. They know there were other contacts and they should have made sure someone was coming to get her and made sure she had someone with her until she was. Don't let it drop. It is dangerous for young girls to walk home alone after dark.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 1:43 PM on Dec. 15, 2013

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