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DD9 is so sloppy

My DD9 is so sloppy around the house. I'm constantly after her to pick up after herself and just so it gets done I end up picking up her mess. She is very neat with what she wears and her hair so she's not a total slob. Just around the house. Any ideas how to motivate her to clean up after herself?

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Asked by jenny3344 at 8:30 PM on Dec. 14, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 20 (8,312 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Do not let her have anything anywhere but her room. She has to leave everything in her room.
    When my kids came home from school. I made them go straight to their rooms with their stuff.
    Toys and stuff where kept in their rooms.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:33 PM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • dont do it for her, tell her do it or get grounded and MEAN it

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 8:34 PM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • "just so it gets done I end up picking up her mess"

    Is the cause of

    "My DD9 is so sloppy around the house"

    Answer by Brawn at 8:40 PM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • Break the clean up into small increments, so it's not overwhelming. But don't let her move on to another toy or fun activity until all the chores or clean up is done. If it continues, then bag it all up & store it away until she earns it back. By you cleaning up after her, she won't learn until you enforce the new clean up rules. Maybe make up a chore chart.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:51 PM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • I confiscate anything left around the house and the kids have to earn it back... they don't like it, but it helps!!


    Answer by Crafty26 at 9:08 PM on Dec. 14, 2013

  • Have a family meeting and go over what is expected. Be matter of fact and calm. Write it down and post it if needed. Then follow through. You need to stop doing it for her. Nothing she wants to do happens if she has not picked up. Now, we used to let our kids keep their rooms any way they wanted. However there was no food allowed in there and their clothes had to be in the hamper if they wanted them washed. Other than that they did their own thing. Every so often they naturally were motivated to have a clean up day. But that was in their rooms, not the rest of the house. GL

    Answer by silverthreads at 12:23 AM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • if the room is a mess- let it be *unless there is gross food, cans...
    as for everywhere else, no friends till she picks up/ not tv/ computer...whatever works
    *same goes for her room when the day comes you want that done too

    it was amazing what my kids would get done if they wanted a sleep over or something and I told them they had to clean up first!

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:36 AM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • I agree that it makes sense to look at what you're doing in the situation (and stop doing anything that you can't do willingly, without resentment or expectations!) But think primarily about COMMUNICATION, with a healthy dose of caring, respect & collaborative problem-solving. In other words, don't approach the problem in a way that results in an unnecessarily adversarial tone.
    Achieving a positive, collaborative tone is more likely if you take responsibility for your feelings of frustration/annoyance (rather than blaming your daughter for them) & respond to those feelings by communicating what is a problem for you, and why, and what you'd like to see changing in response. Engage her with caring curiosity: does it seem possible to her? What does she think would help? Identify some of the issues & explore what "causes" them & if any changes might be helpful. Acknowledge that she may have felt nagged etc., & ask her experience.

    Answer by girlwithC at 7:35 PM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • At my house things left laying around had to be earned back with extra chores. Leave your xxx out to get it back you do dishes for 3 days without being told. It does not take too many times of doing extra chores to remember to pick up after yourself. To solve left out school books they earned more homework on subject assigned by mom.(when book was returned)

    Answer by AuntieV at 3:38 AM on Dec. 17, 2013

  • you should start leaving some of your things around and have her pick them up since you have to pick up hers. or just do the extra chores thing

    Answer by wifey000175554 at 10:31 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

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