Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Spousal support question

How does spousal support work? I know nothing about it but I'm considering filing for it and child support b/c exdh is being such an ass to me. He verbally abuses me, puts me down, insults me, laughs at me and constantly threatens to take the kids. I'm so sick of the way he treats me so I might just file to put him in his place.

Answer Question

Asked by jenny3344 at 9:50 AM on Dec. 15, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 20 (8,312 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • A judge decided if you can get spousal support. I think

    Answer by louise2 at 9:53 AM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • To start with, stop communicating with him. you don't have to put up with this crap. Any ocmmunicating that has to be done can be done via your lawyer.

    Secondly, you got divorced without any written decision about visitation and child support? Please, file NOW. Do not let this drag on any longer. How long have you been divorced? how old are your children? Child support is their RIGHT and you should have sorted this out when you were getting divorced. Fortunately, it isn't too late.

    I know next to nothing about spousal support so I can't help there.

    Answer by goldpandora at 9:55 AM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • If he's already your ex, then you can't go back and get spousal support added. And there has to be a good reason why - like you were a sahm for years while he had a 6 figure income. It is getting more and more rare to see spousal support awarded and when it is it is only for a very limited time to allow the ex wife to update her education, skills to re enter the work force.
    If you aren't getting child support, please file for that! That can be done anytime.

    Answer by missanc at 10:00 AM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • If you're already divorced, I doubt that you can get spousal support now. That's something granted when you divorce, because it's needed. I don't know of any cases where a judge agrees to it after the fact. And the judge won't agree to it just to "put him in his place" because he's being mean to you.

    Child support, however, you can and should go back and get an order for.

    If your ex is being a jerk, quit talking to him. You talk to him for kid related issues, that's it. If it doesn't have to do with the kids, you simply do not engage him.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:11 AM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • Were not divorced yet. We've been separated for 8 years. Finally am going to file.

    Comment by jenny3344 (original poster) at 10:42 AM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • 8 years? What are you waiting for? Get a lwayer. They know what to do.

    Answer by louise2 at 11:42 AM on Dec. 15, 2013

  • It depends on whether the court reserved jurisdiction over the issue of spousal support. In long term marriages, the court generally does reserve jurisdiction. The fact that you say you didn't ask for it at the time of the divorce suggests strongly to me that your rights to it may be lost. You need to review your divorce judgment to see if spousal support was reserved or waived. Plus in most states, you have to have been married for at least 10 yrs. Nowadays it very hard to get spousal support than what it used too.
    And you are not getting child support either?? Most of these laws vary from state to state also.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:35 AM on Dec. 16, 2013

  • Your state law says...

    "The applicable statute is Arizona Revised Statutes §25-319.

    To receive spousal maintenance, a person must show that he or she meets one of the following requirements:

    (1) Lacks sufficient property to meet his or her reasonable needs;

    (2) Is unable to support himself or herself through appropriate employment, or has custody of a child whose age and condition precludes outside employment, or lacks sufficient earning ability to support himself or herself;

    (3) Contributed to the educational opportunities of the other spouse; or



    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:40 AM on Dec. 16, 2013

  •  (4) Had a marriage of long duration and is of an age which may preclude the possibility of gaining adequate employment to support himself or herself.

    Heres the link...


    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:44 AM on Dec. 16, 2013

  • If you are able to work there is no reason for you to get spousal support. He does not own you money for the rest of your life just because you were married a few years. He does have to take care of his children and that is where child support comes in.

    If you worked (and he did not) to put him through school so that he could better support the family a judge MAY consider him contributing to you getting or finishing your education, if you did not during your marriage.

    Spousal support is not awarded because he doesn't talk nice to you.

    Most divorced people have trouble with that especially at first.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:07 AM on Dec. 16, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.