Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Do you discipline your kid for not doing their homework...

or having bad grades in school? How do you discipline them? My child is 10.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Dec. 17, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (22)
  • Doing their schoolwork is their most important responsibility at that age. Our rule was if you didn't have time to do your homework, you didn't have time for video games or television. If it continued, then they would lose other privileges. Privileges are something you earn by showing responsibility.

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:23 PM on Dec. 17, 2013

  • we monitor grades very, very closely. we expect mostly a's and some b's. if an A is dipping into B zone or a B is dipping into a B minus we nip it in the bud in the middle of the semester, before it ends up on a report card. if a C D or F did actually come home the punishments would be severe. We have a 9 yr old who needs constant help w/ everything. I wont lie it's exhausting. He fights every math problem. His sister a grade below him is entirely self disciplined and a perfectionist with almost no parental effort required. She has a stack of extra credit papers hoarded for Christmas break.

    if my son came off the bus and said no, I refuse to do my homework I'd refuse to give him snack, dinner, or the tv remote. Until he's out of school/college that homework is his job. Just like being his mom is mine. If he doesn't work neither will I.

    Answer by hibbingmom at 1:25 PM on Dec. 17, 2013

  • What do you mean by discipline?

    Discipline is guidance. If necessary, you sit them down and stay and make sure they do it. You look it over. You make them redo it.
    It does not matter if they sit there 6 hours. You talk to the teacher to make sure you can get the homework, even if he says there is none.
    Should there be no homework, you make it up. Spelling , math and reading. I would include writing about what was read.

    Bad grades, you do not get to do the activities that you enjoy. The work is the necessity. The fun activities are rewards.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:28 PM on Dec. 17, 2013

  • We monitor what the five-year-old and the teenager are doing and make sure other activities don't happen till the homework gets done. If that means the kids sit at the table and do nothing all evening or occasionally all weekend, then they sit and do nothing. Sometimes they've chosen to sit and do nothing and still gone to school with unfinished assignments, which was their unfortunate stubborn choice, but we don't let video games or TV or other activities happen before homework, except that sometimes it gets complicated because one child lives in two houses so their are issues.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:34 PM on Dec. 17, 2013

  • Yes, I did monitor their homework, and if they received a bad grade on an assignment due to screwing around, they'd be disciplined for it. It it was due to just not comprehending the material, we'd repeat it. It got a lot easier when they became active in sports and had to keep their grades up in order to play... :)

    Answer by Nimue930 at 1:37 PM on Dec. 17, 2013

  • IMHO 9-12 age group need to be responsible for homework. If the child says homework is done then first chance is to believe them. If teacher reports homework not handed in then child is informed that they must present finished homework before any other activities. If said child just writes down answers that are wrong they redo the whole page and another one made by mom or dad. It does not take child long to learn what is expected and to follow rules. I also believe in rewarding good grades by granting more privileges not money.

    Answer by AuntieV at 1:45 PM on Dec. 17, 2013

  • As for disciplining a kid for not doing homework, it's more of disciplining yourself to stay on top of monitoring what comes home and what goes back to be turned in every single day so your child doesn't get behind before the grades slip too far. In my opinion, by the time the bad grades hit the report card, the kid, the parents, and the teacher have all dropped the ball as far as getting a system in place. Not to judge anybody, believe me, I know how hard it is and mine's only in kindergarten. But it's important to keep up with it ever day so the avalanche never has time to pick up speed or you're all buried before you know it!

    Answer by Ballad at 1:47 PM on Dec. 17, 2013

  • My boyfriend took my sons' xbox away last night because he wouldn't do his homework. I tried to be supportive of him taking it away but at the same time, I felt bad for my son and was telling him how I felt about it and why he was maybe doing the things he was doing. He didn't just take it away because my son didn't do his homework, he also took it away because he got an attitude with me and was talking down to me. How long do you take things away from your kid? I think a day is long enough but my boyfriend thinks it should be longer than that.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:59 PM on Dec. 17, 2013

  • Yes I take things they like away from them until they comply, If it takes too long I take another item.
    Janelle A.

    Answer by Janelle A. at 2:01 PM on Dec. 17, 2013

  • I agree (with above comment) that discipline is guidance. There also is the concept of discipline being internal (as in, a person has self-discipline.) I believe that the more you take responsibility for things the child owns, the less likely this (self-discipline) is to develop. You recognize this when YOUR role ("riding" the child, following up on every last thing, essentially taking responsibility FOR the child's work) goes on or becomes MORE active through the years, instead of receding as the child takes ownership.

    So, if you meant discipline as synonymous with punishment, then No I do not "discipline" my child for not doing homework! Homework is between my child & her teacher. I do give feedback/share expectations & I'm available to assist. But from the beginning I've tried to address situations in ways that cultivate intrinsic motivation. Force & control (punishment, leverage) don't!

    Answer by girlwithC at 2:10 PM on Dec. 17, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.