Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I just dont understand.

My sister goes through guys like breathing air. So the latest boyfriends that she's deeply in love with, and been together for a month, she got him a 500 dollar phone for an early Xmas present. We'll a week before Xmas and they broke up. But this is normal the spends hundreds on guys she's been with for only weeks. Then she so heart broken and never falling in love ever again then a week later she's back in love with a new one. Posting her crap all over Facebook.This is more so a vent because I'm afraid of what I'll say to her. But I think she really needs to see a psychiatrist because she has issues when it comes to guys and needing them to make her feel good. I'm not sure what to do or say to her at this point, but for sure I know she's mad because I told her I don't want to hear about it. I feel bad but seriously I'm tierd of it.

Answer Question
 
skinnyslokita

Asked by skinnyslokita at 12:16 PM on Dec. 18, 2013 in Relationships

Level 31 (49,833 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Nobody likes to hear repeats of their family members and friends making poor decisions. It's too bad she doesn't take that to heart and try to understand where you are coming from.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:29 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • I know it sucks, my sister is the same way. But the only thing you can do is ignore it. Her life to screw up. I just totally separated myself from my sister, I had no other choice.

    amazinggrace83

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 12:33 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • Just tell her you are worried about her and maybe it would help if she talked to someone who could really help her..
    Maybe help her to see her own self worth which in my opinion is probably the underlying cause for this kind of behavious. She is probably afraid she will always be alone if she does not find someone soon (depending on her age) You can help support her in her own self image.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:44 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • Dard she's 23. IMO she has plenty of time and she should just I joy herself now. I also believe she has very low selfasteem. But she will not admit it I've tried to talk to her about it she got defensive so I let it go.
    skinnyslokita

    Comment by skinnyslokita (original poster) at 1:11 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • You are trying to apply logic to a situation where there is none.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:05 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • My sister is similar. I love her, but I don't feel like it's my place to tell her who to love or who/what to spend money on. She's an adult, despite her actions. I've removed her from my feed, but still check in on her page every now and then. I know it's hard not to say anything, but if you do, I only see it coming across as judgmental and she would never see it as helpful.
    BeaverHouse

    Answer by BeaverHouse at 2:57 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • She deserves kudos if you ask me, for getting her heart broken again and again then getting back on the horse so to speak, if she doesn't have an issue with the money why should you? And why are you judging her so harshly? She's brave if you ask me, it's not easy getting your heart stomped on then dusting yourself off and trying again...have you ever tried it? I would think if her self esteem were low like you say..then she would just sit around eating ice cream and crying instead. We all need to be loved, there is nothing wrong with continuing to search when you haven't found the right one yet. I think she is way stronger than you give her credit for being.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • How old is she?

    Eventually she'll give her own head a shake and find someone real - at least, that's the best you can hope for. Just be as supportive as you can. :)
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 4:37 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • Hmmm, she sounds like my 22 y/o sister. Goes thru guys like an elephant thru peanuts. Hopefully she will find someone who appreciates her generosity & not someone who will use her.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:46 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • she has issues when it comes to guys and needing them to make her feel good.

    She is far from alone with that in this world.

    lol Anon, (if she doesn't have an issue with the money why should you?), it's possible that the sister complains quite a bit about the money she is out at these times, how terrible it is that he would "do this" to her considering the gift. The thing is, OP, if you're tired of it & are unwilling to listen (and unable to do so without getting upset with her) then I think you are right to tell her you don't want to hear about it. That's taking responsibility for your own emotions. But it also makes sense for her to be mad, as a result. Consider letting her reaction be whatever it is, without bringing you down. You are a separate person, and she should be able to have her feelings! That space will actually create the foundation for an increasingly healthy relationship between you...
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:09 AM on Dec. 19, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN