Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My 18 year has been ruining my happiness by running away & acting a fool what should I do?

My daughter who's 18 has ran away so many times that I Lost count she kept coming back after running away to go party and see her bf than come back home & use us than a month later leave again.. This happened for months finally this last she did it I just decided I had enough & stopped looking or communicating with her ! She's a very good liar & I know shes perfectly fine she knows how to survive out there & has learned how to manipulate & scheme her way out of anything . I just feel hatred towards her unfortunately ! Now do not try to contact her at all she' disappeared a month ago & has tried to call me she just text me once saying " I'm sorry " but she always does that . So what do I now ? Because I know her we have been through this many times she never learns & never changes. I need closure I or I need to know do I just ignore her until she realizes she's wrong & comes to us ? What now?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Dec. 18, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • Change the locks
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:35 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • Exactly, don't let her come back home. She wants to leave let her. she isn't a child anymore.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:36 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • Sometimes, as hard as it is for you, the best thing you can do in a situation like that is let someone intent on learning the hard way face the consequences of her idiotic behavior. Just never, ever say I told you so later on, even if you are seriously tempted.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:38 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • At 18 she isn't a run away. She is an adult that has flown the nest. BB is right, change the locks.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:39 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • She is a big girl now so let her stay away.She has probably worn out her welcome where ever she has been staying. The only way I would let her come back is with a written agreement to paying rent and contributing to food expenses. She would also need to agree to follow house rules and consequences. What no money? One of the conditions is having a FULL TIME job..
    AuntieV

    Answer by AuntieV at 1:46 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • Change the locks and put her stuff on the porch. Let her know she has until trash day to pickit up. She's an adult now, time to toughen up mom.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 1:54 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • Lock the doors. If she wants to come home, she comes without the boyfriend, and must pass a drug test before you allow her to stay there.
    Who's paying for her phone?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:54 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • Why is she running away and acting a fool?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:59 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • She is a grown up now. Change the locks, pack up all her stuff. Tell her to come and get it. Give her a time limit. Tell her no more comming back. You do not have to let her come back any more.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:42 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

  • At 18, she's not a runaway, and unfortunately they don't always like our rules at that age. If she chooses to leave home rather than follow the rules she made need to get out there and learn some lessons on her own.

    Hatred is a strong word, and I'm sure that you don't really mean it, our kids can hurt us deeply and disappoint us, but they're always our kids.

    Let her go and take some time to give each of you some space, but then I would try to have a relationship with her as an adult...who lives on her own and takes care of herself.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:52 PM on Dec. 18, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN