So, this probably won't come off how I mean it to sound, but how much do you intervene when teaching your autistic child what is socially acceptable and what's not?
I'm probably overthinking this (I usually do) and I've posted here before that my son has been diagnosed with a very mild form of autism and I often have trouble deciding what makes him "autistic" vs. what makes him a normal 5 year old but today he did something that got me thinking.
He drew a picture on a large sheet of paper then asked me to clip it to the front of his tshirt. I did, but then he wanted to wear it when we went shopping. I hesitated, because seeing a child with a large piece of paper clipped to his shirt is odd, but then decided whatever, he's 5. He got lots of stares and awkward smiles but I didn't care. HE'S 5!
But then I started thinking, let's say he doesn't outgrow this. Let's say someday he's a teenager and wants to do this and doesn't realize its "odd". Do I tell him it is? Do I help him "fit in" or always let him be himself? I don't mean I want to hinder him from being himself but, as parents, are we supposed to help them learn these things?
I know this is not an issue now, but how much do you step in to teach your autistic child about being themselves but also avoid the stares, etc. Or should you not care at all? Again, I don't want to take away who he is for the sake of society but feel like if I COULD (someday) help him to understand, I should?
This probably sounds worse than I mean it to lol, but hopefully someone understands what I mean?
Answer by Nimue930 at 11:16 PM on Dec. 18, 2013
I know exactly what you are saying. My Aspie is 19 now. He had social problems through out all of elementary and middle school. Things got a little better in high school, but not a lot. He is in college now, and he still isn't very social, but he says he has friends. He had NO friends in elementary and middle school, and very few in high school. He was badly teased and ostracized in school. I had to stop him from riding the bus because the teasing was so bad. He gained a little respect from the high school kids because he is an AMAZING saxophone player, and math is easy for him, so kids wanted his help. His superpowers are music and math. My son really didn't care that he didn't have friends. But the teasing got to him. I did talk to him about why the kids were teasing him. Didn't change his behavior.
Answer by musicmaker at 11:44 PM on Dec. 18, 2013
Take your cues from your son. If it seems he is bothered by how people treat him, then tell him why. He can decide if he wants to fit in, or be his unique self. Personally, I feel our special kids need to learn how to socialize. Later in life he is going to have to know how to interact with people. It will be very hard to get or keep a job if you don't understand that you can't tell your boss what you really think of them. ETC... So I have had many many talks with my son about what is socially acceptable in our society. I explain it to him like he is from Mars and he needs to learn about these creatures called humans. This is actually how Temple Grandin says she feels. It seems to work for my son.
Answer by musicmaker at 11:53 PM on Dec. 18, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 11:58 PM on Dec. 18, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 12:05 AM on Dec. 19, 2013
Answer by goldpandora at 4:12 AM on Dec. 19, 2013
Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:05 AM on Dec. 19, 2013
Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 AM on Dec. 19, 2013
Me personally, I would start out at a young age teaching my child what is socially acceptable and what is not. At least try. To me even at 5, that is odd.
But hey, if what he does, does not bother you. Let him do odd stuff.
Answer by louise2 at 7:33 AM on Dec. 19, 2013
Answer by fiatpax at 7:42 AM on Dec. 19, 2013
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