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How to handle a baby shower for my best friend that my kids are not invited to?

How to sum this up? Someone else is throwing my best friend her baby shower. My BF is from out of town and is flying home with her husband for several days for Christmas. Another friend of BF's is throwing her a surprise shower with BF's mom so that BF will have a chance to visit with family and friends (and also have a shower, duh!). Anyway, before I got the invitation to the shower, I mentioned to the hostess something about my 3 month old baby, and she said, "Babies are fun to have at showers." Which made me think maybe they aren't wanting kids to come, and I have a 3 yr DD and an almost 5 yr DS.

The shower is the day after Christmas, but my husband has to work. My MIL and mom will both be at said shower. My DS loves for me to leave him with sitters, but my DD will cry pitifully until my return. Even though seeing my BF is important to me, I don't feel like it's appropriate to leave DD for hours just to be one face among many at my BF's shower. My DD didn't get invited after all and she is my BF's god-daughter and is named after my BF.

I inquired with BF's mother as to whether anyone else was bringing children, "If not, I may just pop my head in at the beginning and drop some things off." In her response, she didn't deny that the kids aren't meant to come, though she said I could bring them.

Anyway, the point is that I don't know how to handle the shower. I already offered to bring food before I got the invite. I could send the food over and a gift with one of my moms, but I just feel really heartbroken not to get to see my friend pregnant and give her a hug and a kiss and let her meet my 3 mo. over something silly like the formal rules of hosting an event. It just seems stupid. If my BF were involved in the planning, she would probably have made sure I was able to attend with or without the kids. But it's a surprise! What do I do?

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Asked by LaMama7 at 3:05 PM on Dec. 20, 2013 in Relationships

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Third paragraph. She said they could come.

    Personally? I would hire the baby sitter for a few hours, it is at max 4 hours. DD will survive just fine. You would be surprised how they stop and play and then start as the hear you coming in. LOL
    This shower is about your friend not your kids. She is your best friend. Be with her and enjoy yourself.
    Take the baby, especially if you are nursing. or if you trust the sitter leave the baby at home. A sitter can care for a 3 month old that is healthy and on a bottle.

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:14 PM on Dec. 20, 2013

  • Honestly... I wouldn't worry too much about it. Unless they said no kids on the invite they are probably expecting a few kids. It is a shower celebrating a new kid. If you are that worried, call the hostess and ask her about it. You are probably worrying about nothing.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 3:16 PM on Dec. 20, 2013

  • I've never been at a baby shower with children.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 3:34 PM on Dec. 20, 2013

  • Baby showers are USUALLY a child-free environment - if the kids weren't included in the invite, don't bring them. Of course your 3 month old is an exception - babies aren't exactly loud or in the way. If you can't get a babysitter, apologize to your friend - she'll understand.

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 4:12 PM on Dec. 20, 2013

  • Whoops - apologize to your friend about not being able to make it. She is having a child herself, and will understand someday.

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 4:13 PM on Dec. 20, 2013

  • Yeah leave rhe older child with a sittet and bring the lil one. Don't think any more of it.

    Answer by Jazmineamomma at 4:56 PM on Dec. 20, 2013

  • I always got a sitter for my children if my husband wasn't available to watch them. Showers are generally grown up parties and unless kids were included on the invite I wouldn't take them (except the baby). I didn't take mine if they were included on the invite.

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:17 PM on Dec. 20, 2013

  • I do think you should go though, especially if she's your best friend.

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:18 PM on Dec. 20, 2013

  • Take the baby and go have fun.

    Answer by staciandababy at 6:38 PM on Dec. 20, 2013

  • Your DD might be very happy with her Christmas gifts and not have trouble without you. If you are worried, then leave early after staying for a little while.

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:09 PM on Dec. 20, 2013

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