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Trying to keep my damn cool!

I don't know if this is more along the lines of a rant... I'm in a separation/divorce from my second husband . Well, because of numerous things in our 5 yr relationship. I tried everything . Within reasonable standings to fix or help the situations at hand. Yes, I am quite aware that people fight. Say things they don't mean. I am not innocent or presume to be an angel . No one is but the last time he offered to walk out the door . I fucking did it. The thing that gets to me so much is the fact that he acts oblivious and acts as if has no fucking clue as to why I left! Funny how someone only wants to try to fix shit as the door is swinging to close. Every time something screws up or goes bad . It was my fault . Money , bills, life, my thought process down to the way I fixed my hair. I am very strong willed in the things I believe in. But I know how to compromise if it's needed. He had some archaic thought of how HE wanted me and our life to be. There's more to a relationship then just. Providing and stability. For the up most part we had that. What happened to loving someone because you truley loved someone. Not the shit you just pick and choose to .  Throwing things at me in front of my daughter our daughter  is a damn no no. Then pretending it didn't happen. Un fucking beleivable. He emptied our bank account including my daughters little savings account. We had set up for her so she would have a nest egg . When she would go to college. Told me he would replace it because he needed to make sure he had a little money to live till his next check.  Well what in the fuck were we supposed to live on.. What was I supposed to use to provide it was for her not me! Nice parenting...he was like oh and dead me 60.00 tonget till I got paid a few days later!  Always had an negative opinion on my appearance. But couldn't tell me I looked pretty.. It was oh are youngetting pretty for your boyfriend. I'm like wtf.. Boyfriend I can't stand you why the fuck would I have a boyfriend...I am tattooed always have been I'm covered and have a few projects I'm trying to finish. In due time. He told me numerous times that he didn't think I should get anymore because he said I had to many and he didn't like that....excuse me you met me with the and even came with me to get them done . You had no problem then . Why all of sudden now. It doesn't make me any less of a person. It doesn't effect my career in the medical field. It doesn't make people loose sleep and frankly I could give 0 fucks as to people not liking them . I'm just using this as one of many examples. If you try to change a person that you say you honestly love then it's not love at all . Period.
Throwing objects because you get mad at me because I won't back down from a ridiculous fight.. Being the brunt of it. ... Being married to someone that you feel is a stranger that never cared to know the person you are is lonely .. Just because you know a persons habits doesn't always mean you know them.. It's just things you have grown a costumed , to.
The best way in one word I could tell you how I feel is VOID...
I try to have a reasonable relationship with him when it comes to our daughter. To see if he makes an avid account to work out his issues. As I try to work out my own. And he back pedals . One minute he is sweet and talking like an adult then reverts into acting like a strait up douchesicle. .

At this point I'm ok where I am . I'm more relaxed. Feel at peace most of the time. I do not want to walk into the same shitty mess again. Thanks just for listening to my rambles.

Any thoughts ?

Answer Question
 
Gypsyd

Asked by Gypsyd at 5:04 PM on Dec. 21, 2013 in Relationships

Level 12 (723 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Nope, no thoughts. Hoping you feel better getting that off your chest.
    KTElite

    Answer by KTElite at 5:36 PM on Dec. 21, 2013

  • Thanks. I needed that . I've pretty much kept that to my self for months!
    Gypsyd

    Comment by Gypsyd (original poster) at 5:48 PM on Dec. 21, 2013

  • Sounds like you and your finances are better without him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:43 PM on Dec. 21, 2013

  • Your DAUGHTER will probably be better off without him too.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:59 PM on Dec. 21, 2013

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